Fairy Godmothers and Spiritual Mentors

In the storybook fables we know as “Fairy Tales”, characters identified as Fairy Godmothers, and their male counterparts, represent divine intervention. They have a whole arsenal of magical problem-solving tools at their disposal, and use them with their favorite kid’s best interests at heart.

In real life, they can be special members of a child’s extended family--someone children can turn to, beyond their parents, in times of need. Whether it is someone who has been chosen by the parents to fill the religious or spiritual role of a godparent, or someone who offers a love and advice like a favorite aunt or uncle, a friend of the family, or even a coach or teacher.

From their depictions in film and television, we can learn to offer access to a world beyond a child’s doorstep, show how to make the most of what is available, help kids to find their inner power, teach the difference between whims and heartfelt desires, and act as examples of how to live life to the fullest.

Fairy Godmother – Cinderella

She is the one we think of whenever we hear the words “Fairy Godmother”. Her appearance is subtle, but her powerful magic allows Cinderella access to a higher class of society and to a greater opportunity to find a match that suits her. This is the function that a godmother once had, and their magic was in their social connections. We each have our own magic, our own connections and experience to share. Though mere humans, we can find our own ways to make dreams possible for the young people that we love. Teaching behavior that we have learned to fit into an educated and elite society, helping to learn the customs and expectations of another social group, and assisting with logistics before sending them off with love and our best advice.

Glinda the Good – The Wizard of Oz

Dorothy’s journey through Oz was one of realizing that she already had everything she needed. But Glinda was the one who directed her on her path and redirected her when it was necessary. She watched over her to make sure she was safe, and sent help, often without Dorothy realizing its source. She allows Dorothy to learn and grow from her own experiences and never tries to do it for her.

While these traits also mark a good parent or guardian, Glinda does have additional powers and glamour that Dorothy’s loving Aunt and Uncle do not. She comes from another perspective, which seems beautiful and different to Dorothy, so she may be more open to advice and more willing to follow it.

Sirius Black – Harry Potter

Like Cinderella and Dorothy, Harry Potter has lost his parents. When he finds Sirius Black and learns that he was a loving and supportive friend to his parents, he is able to experience the love that he never received from his Aunt and Uncle. Harry belongs in the world Sirius comes from, and offers the understanding and acceptance he always dreamed of.

We can find a common interest to share with our own Godchildren. No matter how great or difficult a child’s parents are, it is important to be recognized and accepted by someone who isn’t their parent. To know that another supportive person is available to discuss embarrassing things, or subjects one is afraid others won’t understand is a treasure you can offer.

Sleeping Beauty and Maleficent

Sleeping Beauty has 3 fairies that bestow blessings upon her at birth. They protect her and watch over her to protect her from a curse, and love her as their own. In the recent film version, Maleficent, Aurora believes the fairy woman who watches over her secretly is her fairy godmother, but we know of her less-than-honorable intentions. Love saves the day, however, when Aurora is valued for herself and not as an extension or possession of her parent(s).

We can observe the individuality of the child we care for, offering that knowledge of their uniqueness as light to illumine their choices, or as a mirror when they lose their identity among all that others want for them, and forget who they are at their core.

Villainous Fairy Godmother - Shrek 2

Where Maleficent looked outwardly dark and malevolent, the Fairy Godmother in Shrek 2 looks like we want her to look, sweet and motherly, but acts like a villain. She fulfills wishes as a business, with little heed to consequences. She has her own ulterior motives and isn’t afraid to manipulate, threaten, or blackmail to reach her objectives. In Hollywood, she might be considered something of a “stage mother”, looking to advance her own child’s status, and thereby her own, through cut-throat methods.

We can use her as an example of the negative effects of forcing our own goals onto someone who trusts us. If we manipulate them for our own ends, we violate that sacred trust, and rob them of their ability to follow their own best path.

Fairly OddParents

These loving, but misguided, fairy godparents serve as an example of the downside of granting every whim. In the long-running animated series and subsequent live-action feature films, we see the messy backlash or jumping ahead of the natural order of life.

When we give or do something for a loved one, rather than allowing them to learn and grow into their goals, we actually rob them of the ability to learn for themselves, to earn and gain experience or to develop character. Spoiling young people, even from the best intentions, can derail their life-train. Though we want to bestow gifts on those we love and adore, we must do so while keeping what’s best for their growth in mind.

Eccentric Adventurous Uncles - Secondhand Lions

This young man, raised by a single mother, was left in the care of two elderly uncles. They taught him how to be a man, and how to live his fullest life through tales of their youthful adventures and unlikely, but authentic, connections.

We provide our beloved children with examples of how they might want to behave, of choices they can make in their own lives, and what is truly important. When we show that we choose what is meaningful to us over what is expected by society, to be creative and brave, we allow them the safety to choose these things for themselves, and to be, truly, all they can be!