Tyler Perry’s Christian Lessons

Reading the Bible

I Can Do Bad All By Myself

Madea: You know who you remind me of right now? You remind me of Peter. You know who Peter was? Peter was one of the twelve disciplines. And they were out on a boat near an isle in the Greek Atlantic Ocean. And when they was on this boat, a storm rose up and the twelve disciplines, they got really, really worried and upset. They said, "Oh Lord, what are we gonna do?" and they saw something coming towards them that looked like a ghost. But it wasn't a ghost. It was Jesus. And Peter said, "Jesus, if that's you then let me come out to you." You gotta be careful what you ask the Lord for. So Jesus said, "Come on out." So Peter stepped out of the boat and was walking on the water.

Jennifer: He was walking on water?

Madea: On the water. He was walking on the water toward Jesus. Long as he kept his eyes on Jesus, he stayed on top of the water. He took his eyes off him though. You know why? He got distracted. You know why he got distracted? See, this is what you got to do. When you got your eye on Jesus, you can't get distracted by nothing. Jonah passed by in the belly of the whale. He looked down, Free Willy, with Jonah inside the belly and it made him distracted so he started to sink. He said, "Jesus, Jesus, help me." Jesus said, "I can't. I got to go to Calvary. I'm late." So Jesus went on to the cross. He said, "Don't worry though. I'm gonna send you a comforter. When the comforter come, you gonna be alright." So he's swimming. He try and swim. He was worried. And Jaws was coming. Spielberg did that Jaws thing. And he was surrounded. You know what happened?

Continued...

Continued...Reading the Bible

I Can Do Bad All By Myself

Madea: Just in the nick of time... See this is what I'm talking about, when you think you ain't gonna make it, in the nick of time, something happens. Noah came up in the arch. That's right, Noah came rowing up in the arch of St. Louis Arch. He pulled right up beside him. Peter got on there, he said, "Thank you for saving me." Noah said, "No problem, man. It's cool. What up, fool?" So he showed him around. Noah had turned the arch into a cruise ship cause he ain't have nothing to do after he saved the world. Hey, you know who was on there? Eve.

Jennifer: Eve?

Madea: She was in the VIP section. And Peter asked, he said, "Eve, come on, go to the show." So she went to see this show. They had tigers. You know, they had two tigers, two bears, two lions. You know how they had the male and the female. Well, Siegfried and Roy was there, and they had the two lions there. And them Lions jumped up and scratched Eve. That's how Eve get them two paws there. You ever see Eve with the paws? She got two paws right there. Read your Bible some time, honey. Read your Bible.

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