Your Marital Advice for Jon and Kate Gosselin
Even if you've never watched the TLC reality TV show Jon and Kate Plus 8 — about a couple raising their 8 children — you've likely heard about Jon and Kate Gosselin in the news. The once sweet reality show couple slowly unraveled unraveled in front of the media spotlight.
Although Jon and Kate eventually divorced, for a time, there was hope of reconciliation. In 2009, we asked Beliefnet readers for advice on how they could save their marriage. Here's what you had to say.
Renew Your Love
Renew Your Love
Jon and Kate: You are both attractive and been given an opportunity to have everything as well as the trials that go along with so many children.
Use these blessings and remain true to each other. There was something that held and drew you to each other, Normal societal life can harm and oftentimes stretches a marriage. For whatever reason you two had found each other and fell in love. You were able to establish enough of a bond to have those lovely children. Don't destroy that love; Find and renew it.
Divorce is not the answer; If you do it now it will get "easier" the next time, although both of you will find an even more difficult time to find and love another mate. Fix and renew the love you have. Don't do it for the children do it for yourselves. The best of luck and intentions to and for each other.
--Lbb474
The best things parents can do for their children is to let their children see them loving each other.
--Texas_Rose6
Leave the Show Behind
Leave the Show Behind
I believe that Jon and Kate need to go off television, for the sake of their children and for the sake of their marriage. It has been fun watching [their children] when they were babies, but since they are now 5-years-old, it's getting old. Let them grow up out of the limelight like the Dilly's did with their sextuplets. Have a special on every few years so people can see how they are doing. I love watching them, but as I said before it's time to take them off the air. As for Jon and Kate I believe that they need to grow up before their kids do. And Kate needs to quit controlling Jon.
--shazlett
Pray
Pray
Kate & Jon need to pray, pray, & pray. As for the show, I am sure GOD will use the show to touch the hearts of many couples having trouble holding their own marriages together. This show will let couples know they are not alone in their troubles. Jon and Kate let the lines of communication break down. They each needed and found comfort in others. My wife and I went through this same process. It hurts and is hard to get over. But with GOD's hand and GOD's word nothing is impossible. I know.
Wouldn't it be great if Kate and Jon prayed for GOD's help right on the show? We all need to pray for all 10 members of that family.
--smokepit
Stop Talking to the Media; Go to Therapy
Stop Talking to the Media; Go to Therapy
Stop talking to the media. Stop talking to the media. Stop talking to the media
Both need individual therapy (intense). Go to couples therapy. Get the children into therapy. Give the children some privacy. Stop dressing the children in the same style clothes. They each have their own personalities. Respect that. Kate, give the children a break. Really, whether they get a divorce or not--all of them will be needing psychological help dealing with the issues. You will always be connected even after a divorce because of the children. Are they going to have to suffer for the immaturity and ego driven behavior of the parents? Both Jon and Kate need to step back and evaluate their own behavior and how they each contribute to the family problems.
--Josarah
Respect One Another
Respect One Another
The advice that I've got for John and Kate is to sit down amongst themselves without cameras or children and discuss the things that are causing problems in their marriage. One thing I noticed that is causing a big problem in their marriage is Kate is too demanding—she's always correcting him and telling him what to do and treating him likes he's one of the children—like his point of view means nothing at all. She seems to want to play both roles, the man and the woman. I believe if she would start treating Jon with some respect, and like the man of their house hold, a lot of the problems that their having would be resolved.
--Swift200
Turn to God; Remember Why You Fell in Love
Turn to God; Remember Why You Fell in Love
[I] read your book Multiple Bles8ings. In it you talked about your faith and how you ALWAYS turned to GOD. Well I feel that you need to be doing that now and getting marital counseling. You have so much to be thankful for. Your health, your children are healthy, you have a beautiful new home [and] vehicles, you are able to provide for your children. Eventually the children will realize something is amiss, especially Cara and Mady. You fell in love for certain reasons—think of those and each other. Give up the show for awhile and work on your marriage. It's more important than the show. Just do specials once in awhile. Think of your children!
--AngelButterfly51