12 Ways to Keep Going
Even when you feel mired in fear and sadness, there are ways to persevere. Therese J. Borchard Group Beyond Blue . From the discussions there and on the Beyond Blue blog, I've compiled a few tools for moving past that harrowing darkness, suggestions on how to emerge from a place of panic, and techniques for how to dance in the rain.
Learn how to keep going. Therese J. Borchard writes the Beyond Blue blog for Beliefnet.
Escape from the Pain
Lately, when my depressive thoughts have turned suicidal, I've been telling myself that I don't want my life to be over--I want a reprieve from the pain. I'm usually at a loss on how to get there. I'm tired, frustrated, desperate, so my thoughts follow the path that has already been blazed throughout the years. I fantasize about death, intoxication, or some other destructive behavior that doesn't require a lot of imagination.
Track Your Mood
Track Your Mood
An essential piece of my recovery is keeping a mood journal. This helps me to identify certain patterns that emerge. Symptoms of my bipolar disorder and depression can flair up seemingly out of the blue, like a thunderstorm. But often there are telltale signs that can clue me in as to why I'm feeling so fragile. You can catch these if you've been recording your mood over time.
Solve the Problem
Solve the Problem
I noticed, after analyzing my mood journal for the last two months, that my sleep pattern went from eight hours of consistent sleep to ten. Katherine has been climbing into bed with us, and I'm afraid of waking her in the morning. So I've been sleeping in with her and skipping my 15 minutes of meditation. But that time in the morning is a critical piece to my recovery, and if I go over nine hours of sleep too many mornings, I begin to feel depressed. I also noticed that I am most depressed on Sunday evenings and Monday mornings.
Talk About It
Talk About It
I can't get a therapy appointment round the clock, so I had better invest in some friends that won't tire of me telling them that my thoughts are turning to mush again.
Repeat: 'I Will Get Better'
Repeat: 'I Will Get Better'
As I said in my video, "I WILL Get Better, " I think about my Aunt Gigi every time I wind up in the depression tunnel, and remember her repeating to me over the phone a few years back: "You will get better. Repeat that. You WILL get better." Peter J. Steincrohn, M.D., author of "How to Stop Killing Yourself" wrote: "Faith is a powerful antidote against illness. Keep repeating - and believing: I WILL get well. If you believe, you help your doctor and yourself." And this paragraph from William Styron's "Darkness Visible" always reassures me:
Think Smaller
Think Smaller
On mornings that I wake up with that nauseating knot of anxiety in my stomach, everything seems overwhelming. Getting myself to the bathroom so that I can brush my teeth feels like I'm running a triathlon in August. So I don't attempt the triathlon. I only have to worry about getting my left foot down on the ground. And then my right one. And then I have to stand.
Remember Your Heroes
Remember Your Heroes
I also remind myself that many, many people have felt like this before, and they have survived. I guess it's equivalent to a pregnant woman saying to herself, "Look, I'm not the first person to have a baby. Obviously women survive labor pains." I think about all the mental-health heroes in my life, especially the ones, like my Aunt Gigi, that lived full, productive lives.
Look Backwards
Look Backwards
Other people's achievements can bolster your courage, and remembering your own can do the same. Beyond Blue reader Larry Parker gives himself this pep talk when he hits the panic point:
Distract Yourself
Distract Yourself
Some days I just can't get anything done because the thoughts are hounding me. All I can do on those days is distract myself, keep myself from thinking about how awful I feel. Just like Fr. Joe carved figurines out of soap when he was depressed, and Priscilla made jewelry to keep her mind off of her anxiety, I will try to do anything to keep my brain occupied and away from my hurt, sort of like I did when I was in labor: baking chocolate-chip cookies, looking through old pictures, listening to Beethoven and Mozart, watching a comedy, swimming, running, biking, or hiking through the woods. (I didn't do all of that during labor, though.)
Get Out Your Self-Esteem File
Get Out Your Self-Esteem File
For the past few days I've been carrying around letters from my self-esteem file in my pocket like a baby blanket. Some people have told me that my self-esteem must be shallow if I have to rely on praise from other people. Maybe it is. But I have to start somewhere, and anyone who has sat in that panic place where you want to end it all, knows that it's virtually impossible at that time to come up with a list of your own strengths. So you have to believe what other people say. Click here to learn how to start your own self-esteem file.
Pray Psalm 91
Pray Psalm 91
My mom kept her Bible marked to this passage for most of my childhood. I read it over and over and over again, feeling a moment of peace in the anxiety I felt back then. I read it today, together with the other Psalms, when I'm in the tunnel of terror and can't let go of the fear. If I'm in a hurry, I just remember Psalm 91: 9-11:
