By Christine Arylo
We live in a culture that constantly bombards us with images and media that tell us who we should be and could be. Then there are those people in our lives who push their opinions on us. Some of us are so influenced by external forces that we have a hard time finding our own voices and expressing our authentic selves.
These tips will help you develop the confidence and conviction inside your soul to express who you truly are. And they will help you to stop apologizing to the world for being you!
Read the first tip on building confidence and self-esteem.
Based on the book Choosing ME Before WE: Every Woman's Guide to Life and Love © 2009 by Christine Arylo. Printed with permission of New World Library, Novato, CA. www.NewWorldLibrary.com. Visit Christine at www.DareToLiveYou.com.
Stop Worrying About What Others Think
Do Things Because You Want To
Throw away the big O, Obligation. Give up the G word, Guilt. And make a commitment that everything you do, you do because you want to. Even for things you don't necessarily love doing, ask, “What is it about this action that does matter to me?” and act from that place. It’s all about your attitude. You can choose to be a martyr and a victim, or you can choose to be authentic.
Give Up the Image
Know What Makes You Unique
Every person is born with unique gifts, talents, and inclinations that they are naturally good at. When you find them and use them, these gifts lead you to real happiness and success. Think about Tiger Woods. Born to golf. No matter how much you practiced, you’d never be as great as him; he has a gift. You have gifts too. Start noticing the compliments you often get from people. There is sure to be a gift there.
Be Clear About What Makes You Happy
Know Your Emotional Triggers
We all have things that set us off or that evoke an overly strong reaction. It is time to stop letting them run the show! Pay attention to situations that make you spin, get your mad factor going, or send you into the pool of suffering. Be the boss of your emotions by having and taking responsibility for them, and don’t let them drive your life. To be your authentic self, you have to know what is under the surface motivating you.
Act on What You Know Is Right
Being your most real self isn’t always easy. It often requires going against what everyone else is doing or thinking. Being authentic means being true to what feels right for you, even if it doesn't fit the needs and sensibilities of other people -- parents, partners, and friends included. We always know what the best action is to take for ourselves, it’s just not always easy. Be committed to being you, even when it’s scary, and even when other people don’t like it.
Have an Opinion and Express It
Let Others See You
Be vulnerable. Share your most real self with the people around you—family, friends, and colleagues—and let them see all of you. The strong, the weak, the self-assured, the self-doubter, the funny, and the serious. Have and show your emotions fully—from sadness and happiness to anger and joy. When you keep the full range of your true self hidden, no one can know who you really are. While it may feel scary to be vulnerable, you’ll find that the more you show the real you, the more others will be willing to share their authentic selves too.