"Have breakfast with Jesus every morning!” writes Monsignor Charles Pope, in a tongue-in-cheek message on the website of the Archdiocese of Washington, D.C., “In the past you’ve had see Him with eyes of faith. Now you can see Him right on the toast! It’s the Jesus Toaster! Just $31.95 plus shipping and handling.”

A piece of toast with His image ...

The monsignor is writing about a breakfast toaster that, yes, sears the face of the Christ onto any bagel, flatbread or piece of bread you wish.

Pope is the pastor of the Church of the Holy Comforter-St. Cyprian, a Catholic congregation in the District of Columbia.

“No Christmas is complete without this fine new toaster,” he writes, with just a bit of sarcasm. “Was not Jesus born in Bethlehem which means ‘House of Bread!?’ So celebrate Christmas all year long! Did Jesus not leave His face on Veronica’s veil? Now you can see His face and eat it too!

“With the Jesus toaster you just never know where Jesus will pop up!”

However, if you don’t want to buy a toaster devoted completely to the

Lord Jesus Christ, then you might consider Archie McPhee’s “Jesus Toaster Tattoo.”

An alternative: The Toast Tattoo branding iron

This is a gadget that basically allows you to sear any image you wish onto your bread — the same principle as branding-iron cowpokes chasing down little dogies at round-up time.

Lest you put too much stock in these products, Monsignor Pope offers a couple of disclaimers:

The Daily Bread toaster

1) This toaster does not convey true presence of our Lord and Savior and the bread coming forth from it is not to be adored. Do not try true presence at home, which leads to idolatry.

2) No disrespect is hereby intended in this post. But sometimes things are in such bad taste that the absurdity is best illustrated by being absurd