Wisdom for Moving Beyond Worry

Our thoughts might look like a string of what-ifs. What if this goes wrong? What if I don’t get the promotion? What if I bomb? What if my child fails the final? What if I get fired? What if my loved one really is sick? Some of us fret more than others. Some of us might’ve started worrying in the womb. Fortunately, whether worrying is a constant concern for you or an occasional one, you can move beyond your worries. Here are eight tools to try.

Margarita Tartakovsky, MS, is an associate editor at Psych Central and authors the body image blog Weightless. She writes about everything from anxiety and ADHD to creativity and couples to mindfulness and stress. You can learn more about her work at her website.

See Worry for What it Really Is

Sometimes, we think that if we worry hard enough, we’ll be able to prevent the catastrophe. Or we won’t be let down. We think worry will protect us. We even think of worrying as a shield. While worry may be a hint that there’s something you need to attend to, prolonged worry leaves you spinning your wheels. “All of my worrying never got me anywhere,” said Mara Glatzel, MSW, an intuitive coach and writer. “It didn't solve my problems. It didn't dissolve my anxiety.” However, it did fuel her fears, perpetuating the cycle of what-ifs and thoughts that “something could go terribly wrong.” As Corrie ten Boom has beautifully said, “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength."

Rethink Your Thoughts

Our thoughts can feed our anxious feelings and the negative cycle of what-ifs. But the great thing about our thoughts is that they’re flexible. We can challenge and change our thoughts “from a fearful, pessimistic orientation to a calm, positive orientation,” Karmin said. For instance, the next time you’re worried, he suggested saying such statements: “This is an inconvenience and a disappointment. I have put up with disappointments [before]; I can tolerate this one, too.” “I cannot predict the future or prevent things from happening. I can take life as it comes.” “I have the power of choice and can choose and live on my own terms of good enough.” “I am no more or less loveable then anyone else.”

Practice Abdominal Breathing

When we take slow, deep breaths, we tell our bodies that we’re safe, and the danger has passed, Karmin said. As a result, “our body will stop producing adrenaline and our arousal will cease.” He suggested practicing abdominal breathing, which we’ve all done as babies and still do when we’re asleep or very calm: “[P]lace your hand on your stomach below your waist. Breathe in your nose like your smelling a flower. Then purse your lips and breathe out your mouth like your blowing at a match. You will feel your stomach move in and out against your hand.” When you start worrying, it can seem hard to stop. Turning to these kinds of healthy tools can help you move beyond worry and into your life.