Bring Back the Spirit of Summer Love
The spirit of summer love is a state of mind that can make the summer months more fun, and lead to a lasting soulmate.
By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Do you remember your best summer love? Mine was Chuck--a tall, tan, blond and blue-eyed hunk who was my major crush, ever. We met when we were both camp counselors and shared a summer of memorable romantic recreation.
It was many moons ago, but I still recall the secret smooches at sundown, gazing into one another’s eyes and stealing moments of romance throughout one hot July and August. Sigh. I think it is time for we grown-ups to bring back the spirit of summer love.
There are certain rules of engagement that can reduce the pressure of "finding the one" and at the same time can teach us valuable relationship skills. If married, you can stir up the romance by making hubby your summer love. If single, you can utilize the spirit of summer love--and these tips--to help perk up your love life.
Are you ready to have some fun? Read the first rule of Summer Love .
Rule 1: Don’t Take Love Too Seriously
Rule 1: Don’t Take Love Too Seriously
We take love so seriously. We work so hard to get it right. We are so focused on “is this the one” that we are not having any fun! What would happen if we could get into that old summer love spirit and toss our cares, old broken hearts and most of our relationship expectations to the wind? We’d be liberated, and free to love without attachment or expectation. We’d be Summer Love Goddesses. I believe we can achieve this at any age!
Rule 2: Summer Love as a Spiritual Experience
Rule 2: Summer Love as a Spiritual Experience
The idea of Summer Love, in its truest essence, is a very Buddhist thing--no attachments and full acceptance that it will end, sometime. Along the way we make it a point to have as much fun, excitement, new experiences, passion, and joy we can. We don’t worry about the consequences and we have no expectations of the outcome. We are not imagining who we’ll invite to the wedding by the third date--unlike (admit it) the non-summer soul mate season when a third date inspires thoughts of “this could be it!” Just imagine what it might feel like if you gave yourself permission to have a fling with light-hearted love.
Rule 3: You Deserve Romance and Passion
Rule 3: You Deserve Romance and Passion
Consider yourself entitled to as much passion, romance, and fun as you can muster. The whole point is to be caught up in the romance and the heat of the moment, and to be spontaneous. There are a lot of spur-of-the-moment adventures. You don’t mind if he shows up unexpectedly at midnight – in fact, you love it. At any other time of year, if a guy shows up without calling, you break up with him for being invasive! In summer, anything goes. Time is short, and trying to transform him into the perfect man is just not important.
Rule 4: Stop Trying to Control Love
Rule 4: Stop Trying to Control Love
Imagine what could happen to our love lives if we approached them from this summer love perspective: We’d be in a state of surrender, which would make it a little easier for true love to find us. In winter, potential soul mates have to battle the winter bulge of armor covering our hearts and slay the dragon of a mindset that says perfect love must look, behave, and feel a certain way. In the spirit of summer love, we are lighter and airier! When you are willing to indulge in a little carefree romance, you will be surprised how much easier it may be to see love and relationships in a new light.
Rule 6: Get Yourself in the Mood for Love
Rule 6: Get Yourself in the Mood for Love
Put yourself in the mood for light-hearted love. Include “summer love consciousness or spirit" as part of your spiritual practice. Meditate, pray, visualize, and daydream about hot and passionate summer days with an oh-so-special summer love who treats you like a goddess.
Rule 7: Allow Yourself to Be Spontaneous
Rule 7: Allow Yourself to Be Spontaneous
If you are used to planning, plotting, and looking hard for love, this will be a great opportunity to relax your usual approach. Let yourself be spontaneous and gain some mastery over your issues about control and surrender. Learn to go with the flow.
Rule 8: Create a List of Summer Love Wishes
Rule 8: Create a List of Summer Love Wishes
Even though this is an exercise in being more spontaneous, less picky and demanding, you still need a road map to the kind of love that would be most appealing. Create a list of the qualities of your ideal summer love and read it every day for the next 30 days. By the time July rolls around, that person will be getting closer! For inspiration, see our sample list of summer love qualities.
Rule 9: Meditate on Your Ideal Summer Love
Rule 9: Meditate on Your Ideal Summer Love
Feel free to include this list of top ten essential summer love qualities on your list. Meditate on these qualities, and more, to help draw that person to you. Add in anything else you desire in your summer love.
Glances at you in a way that makes you feel you are the only human being on the planet.
Communicates passion and appreciation with stunning force.
Can dissolve all your concerns and worries with just one kiss.
Takes your breath away with a body and manner that make you want to surrender to love.
Has a "master’s degree" in the art of love.
Is so passionate, romantic, and alluring that even if your favorite movie star called for a date, you wouldn’t leave your Summer Love.
Says things like, "You are the most beautiful (sexy, gorgeous, etc.) person I have ever seen," "I love your spirit (soul, who you are, etc.)," "I am so glad I met you!"
For an entire summer you belong to each other – body, mind and spirit. You revel in your own vulnerability and willingness.
You have frequent out-of-body experiences in your summer love's presence.
You really like this person--a lot!
Summer Love May Lead to True Love
Summer Love May Lead to True Love
It may seem like a summer fling, but summer love can actually be an educational experience. You will also learn how to lighten up about love and expectations. The spirit of summer love is a state of mind you can enter any time. Your soul mate will ultimately be ever-so-happy to meet you there, in the land of carefree abandon, where love is much simpler, and where it can easily grow.
And if for some reason you and your summer love soulmate do not find each other this season, be your own best summer love and enjoy life. Self-love is a soulmate magnet.
Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is author of Rituals for Love and Romance: Attract Your Soulmate with Ceremony and Self-love (HealingEbooks, May 2009) and the e-course, Find Your Spiritual Soul Mate . She is moderator of The Soulmate Project on Beliefnet.
