What Mom Really Wants for Mother's Day

The True Spirit of Mother's Day

Mother’s Day is a great holiday in theory, but gets so taken over by marketers and manufacturers that it’s true meaning gets lost. But it doesn’t have to be this way. When you consider Mother’s Day an opportunity to express to some special women how much you love them, as opposed to flipping through ads and clicking pop-ups to buy what mass marketers tell you she wants, then you’re experiencing the true spirit of the day.

So what does Mom want? Well, for starters, you might ask her. Then listen to what she says. I did this for years with my own mother, but because I spent so much time ignoring her actual answer, it took awhile before I found some success. Here are some of the things she said.

Learn the things she tried to teach

“Please don’t buy me anything. I know you don’t have much money, and I really don’t need anything.”

My mother said this from the time I was six-years-old and I never did believe her. When I was ten, I bought her an atrociously ugly pitcher that weighed 15 pounds, before you put anything into it. One of my mom’s happiest days was when someone dropped the thing and it shattered.

If you do have more money than mom thinks, then feel free to ignore what she says, consider deeply what she would get pleasure or use from and give thoughtfully to this difficult gift recipient. But don’t be surprised or offended if she scolds you.

In John 13: 1-17, Jesus washes His disciples’ feet. This is an image of what moms do in our lives until the end of our lives, or theirs. Through the humility of their love, they instruct us that “you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” One of the best gifts you can give to Mom is to learn the things she tried so hard to teach.

A constant reminder

“If you must buy me something, make it something simple that I use every day. That way, I am reminded of you regularly.”

It’s hard watching kids grow up and away, and even when you’re in the midst of the chaos of raising them, you know that they can’t live with you, always and forever, regardless of their plans as a three-year-old.

Romans 1: 20 tells us, “For since the creation of the world, God’s invisible qualities — his eternal power and divine nature — have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made.”

In the same way that we are comforted by seeing God’s presence in the beauty of the things He has created, Mom delights in a regular reminder of you.

Keep her up to date

"Feel free to tell me about your sadness, pain, and hurt. I want to be there for you. BUT — don’t forget to let me know how things work out. Don’t leave me hanging.”

Moms give, give, and give, but it takes it out of them, and nothing empties the smile from a Mom’s heart more than to know that her child is hurting. Don’t avoid communicating with Mom when things are going badly (she’ll probably guess something is up, anyway), but don’t leave her in a state of worry.

This is why it’s important to communicate often, and regularly, so that every call isn’t one of panic, every text one of angst. Whether they stay at home or work in an office, Mothers love. That’s their primary job. And while they’re human, and mess up, they do their best to be patient and kind, always protecting, always trusting, always hoping, always persevering (1 Corinthians 13: 4, 7).

Mother’s Day is an opportunity to say, “Thanks, Mom.”