A Celebration of Sex

Learning sexual technique, creative ways to please your partner, and how to resolve sexual problems--the Christian way

Continued from page 1

This may actually need to be emphasized as a separate virtue, but a loving person is a humble,

forgiving

person. If you really desire a fantastic love life, let go of the mistakes your mate makes and heal the disappointed expectations. Cut each other slack and gently, graciously acknowledge that you are both just human. Learn to laugh over shortcomings and revel in the intimacy that comes after working a problem through to an intimate forgiveness.

Love creates trust so you can try new behaviors and risk appearing silly. Love produces warm excitement and fun companionship. Love helps you to remember and desire to meet your mate's needs. Learn to be a lover! The best sex is long-term, and love is the oil that keeps this type of lovemaking running smoothly.

There are three parts of being wise and knowledgeable lover. First, become a student of your mate. An integral aspect of true consideration is constantly trying to know and understand your partner better. Lovemaking should be knowing what your mate enjoys and needs. This knowledge takes time, curiosity, a good memory, and the willingness to be a student. Get a Ph.D. in your mate.

Second, be and informed and sexy lover by knowing your own body and sexual responses. You are the teacher of your mate. Do you know what turns you on and increases your desire? It will be difficult teaching your erotic needs to your partner if you are not aware of them. Tune in to your sexuality, and keep expanding your repertoire of sensual delights. Learn to become more easily and strongly orgasmic.

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Third, develop a technical knowledge of sexuality. Sexual technique is not the be-all and end-all of a great sexual relationship, but its importance cannot be denied. Several chapters of this book are about technique. The couple with their act together sexually know how to create ambience and be uninhibitedly sensual and playful. They understand various positions of intercourse, and they have built a comfortable, exciting repertoire of sexual moves.

In making love, dishonesty destroys trust, allows boredom, and creates confusion and hostility. Great sex is based on mature lovers who can be honest with themselves and their mates. They are self-aware and can

assertively communicate.

Many couples find it uncomfortable to initiate sexual conversations and openly discuss individual needs and desires. The wife may be upset because her husband gets defensive or pouts if she openly refuses sex or makes a small suggestion. The husband may be angry because his wife turns him down after he plays the romantic rituals like taking a quick shower or rubbing her back. These are times for great air-clearing, honest discussions, and confrontation as the couple openly express feelings and needs.


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Douglas E. Rosenau
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