After getting married, although I worked away from the home, I still was in charge of home care and cooking. After having children it was obvious my husband needed to negotiate because the house work was becoming a burden.

I began teaching my husband how to clean the house and do laundry. His cleaning abilities were minimal to say the least and I had to practice patience while teaching and re-teaching him how to clean.

It occurred to me that my husband’s perception of cleaning was different from my own. His goal was less “to clean” and more to “get a job done.”

Enter: THE LIST

When I see scum and dirt, instead of getting angry that my husband can’t see it and clean it, I simply write a list of jobs on a piece of paper. He sees the task on the list that needs to get done and cleans and crosses off the item.

From 21st Century Science and Health, “Mutual compromises or a prenuptial agreement will often preserve an arrangement which might otherwise become unbearable. Agree on a realistic intent of the marriage and share the responsibilities to meet that intent. As you both fulfill the different demands of your united spheres, you will feel supported, confident, and thus sanctify the union of wellbeing in which the heart finds peace and home.”