As an astrologer, I spend a lot of time looking at people’s love lives. Understanding both the birth charts and the transits involved can go a long way towards learning why a relationship isn’t working, or why it has hit a speed bump, or why a person doesn’t appear to have any love life at all. At times, this last category of inquiry can be the most baffling of them all, and yet even then astrology can provide some clarity.
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Consider the case of TJ (not her real name). She appears to be a classic case of “why doesn’t a nice girl like you have a husband” (as we would have phrased these things in the less-enlightened 1970s). She is attractive, intelligent, funny and capable, so why has the romantic side of her life being such a struggle? The birth chart provide some interesting clues, and — perhaps even more importantly — the upcoming transits to that birth chart will provide opportunity for change.
First of all, although it’s a cliche it’s still absolutely true: Venus in your birth chart has a lot to do with love — who you love, how you love, and who is attracted to you. TJ has one of the strongest Venus placements someone could ask for: Venus in Taurus in the First House. This placement usually makes for good looks and a certain degree of charm. Her Venus receives a trine from Saturn in the Fifth House, and this would tend to make her “stable” in her affections, as an old-school interpretation might put it.
There are some aspects from other planets in the birth chart that complicate the situation, however. First of all that first house Venus is in a close opposition to a Seventh House Uranus. On the one hand, this lends a certain spark to her Venus which can be very appealing. On the other hand, the Seventh House rules committed relationships, and having Uranus in the Seventh House can mean that one is drawn to or is destined to be connected to partners who might be considered unusual. There is nothing inherently wrong with that: it just may mean that TJ is less likely to find a standard, off-the-shelf Prince Charming to plug into her life than the average person might.
Now take a look at TJ’s Fourth House. Although the fourth house is not usually the first place where one looks for romantic potential, there are things going on here that are affecting her Venus that help explain the course of her love life a little better. Moon square Venus can make for some emotional impulsiveness. Both the Moon and the Fourth House have much to do with a person’s sense of emotio0nal centredness, and the square aspect to TJ’s Venus could indicate an issue with some very sudden and impulsive attractions that may flare up and burn out relatively quickly. This might amplify the tendency of Uranus in the Seventh House to be drawn to unusual partners or encounters. Again, there is nothing inherently wrong with that, but over time that could lead to a sense of frustration and a feeling that there is little hope for stable long-term romance.
Venus square Mars often makes for a highly sociable nature, and it often makes for an amplified sex drive. In a case like this, we might speculate that is why TJ could find herself in situations that don’t lend themselves well to long-term relationships.
Venus square the Moon’s Nodes also has to be considered. The Nodes can be a little difficult to interpret in astrology, as they have much to do with matters of past life karma and the karma one is supposed to be building in this lifetime. Venus square the Nodes does not necessarily imply that one is karmically doomed to not find True Love, but it does indicate more of a struggle to find a suitable partner than one might otherwise expect.
(A side note: there is no quicker way to establish either that you don’t understand how astrology really works or to simply demonstrate that you are a jerk than to say to someone “you are karmically doomed to never have your love life work out for you.” That sort of thing is both inaccurate and unhelpful.)
Perhaps the most important thing to keep in mind here is that with TJ, as with anyone else, astrology should be more than just pointing out flaws and problems. No one is perfect, and no one’s birth chart is perfect. And anyone who convinces you that you need to tone down this or that about your personality in order to attract a mate probably doesn’t understand very well how these things work. What’s the point in being someone other than yourself in order to attract your one true love?
So, despite the fact that TJ appears to be a prime candidate for a successful partnership, we can also see why that hasn’t kicked in for her yet. Is there hope in a situation like this? You’re damn right there is, and in Part Two I will be taking a look at the upcoming transits to TJ’s birth chart that could very well bring the relationship that she’s been looking for.
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