Wisdom of Our Elders
Family wisdom offers a strong foundation in today's world. The words of our parents (and our grandparents if we were lucky enough to have known them) can stay with us throughout the years. We asked Beliefnet members to send us some of their favorite nuggets of guidance or inspiration they received from their elders. The following are a selection of family sayings worth passing on to the next generation.
Mother Love
Mother Love
I had spent the night at my parents. We were having our morning coffee, reminiscing, and talking about raising children, when children move away from home, my grandmother passing away, etc. My mom then said that she realized even when your mother is gone, "You will always need your mother." It made me cry, as I thought about everything mothers and daughters mean to each other. Pearl MacGregor McKinney, TX
Picture: My mom, Lee Dominguez, with my baby daughter, Ruby
The Wise Old Owl
The Wise Old Owl
My maternal grandpa taught me this poem when I was about 6: A wise old owl He sat in an oak The more he heard The less he spoke The less he spoke the more he heard Why can't you be like that wise old bird? At that age I really didn't understand it but liked the owl idea and memorized it. Marci Scileppi San Francisco, CA.
Workplace Joy
Workplace Joy
My adopted father, Elmer Yarusinsky, gave me some very wonderful advice about working in the world: 1. Give your employer the time paid for, and a little more if necessary. 2. When you go to work, do it with a smile. It really does make the day go faster. It doesn't do anyone any good to be in a bad mood. 3. If you can't go home with the knowledge that you did your best for the day, and you feel like you let people down, fix it. Realize what you did and correct it. I have always tried to live by those words. They have always made my job easier and kept my work day 90% stress free. Judy Pettigrew Rawlins, WY
Picture: My dad, just before he left for Italy during WWII
Protect Your Dreams
Protect Your Dreams
I always remember my late father's Egyptian wisdom: "Protect the flame of your candle, and it will light more." I used to speak about myself and my future plans with naiveté and with every single detail. Always all my dreams/future plans were never finalized, because I let people talk about it before I had the opportunity to make any move. My father, Selim El Dabie, died seven years ago. I have used his wisdom, and it has really helped in my life. Magda Selim El Dabie, Cairo, Egypt Picture: My father, Selim El Dabie
A Woman's Worth
A Woman's Worth
I was raised by my maternal grandmother, Antonia Hernandez. I never called her Grandma. I called her Mom, because that's what she was to me. She always gave me unconditional love, support, and acceptance. She always knew just what to say to encourage me when I was at my lowest. I went through a difficult romantic period in my 20's. I remember telling her that it seemed that I was never going to find anyone to love me and that I felt like a loser. Something she said to me has always stayed with me since: "A woman is like gold, always valuable." She was teaching me to consider myself worthy under all circumstances. I'm proud to say over the years I worked on improving my self-esteem. I value myself and know my worth. Antoinette Pignataro New York, N.Y. PIcture: My mom, Antonia Hernandez, and me
Anger Goes, but Love Stays
Anger Goes, but Love Stays
When I was a child and had done something wrong, I was corrected by my father. After my punishment, Dad would always make me kiss and hug him and would tell me that he loved me. My dad expressed in this ritual that he loved me but hated what I had done. I use the same ritual on my son now. He is named after my dad who died six months before he was born. Recently I corrected my son, Eddie, and after his time-out, I told him we needed to hurry to get somewhere. As I turned and walked out of the room, Eddie stopped me and said "Dad, where is my hug and kiss?" It really hit home that anger goes away, but loves stays. I am forever grateful for this pearl of wisdom from my dad. Jay E. Michael Dublin, OhioPicture: My father, Edward C. Michael, passed away in 1999.
My Mom's 'Eva-isms'
My Mom's 'Eva-isms'
My mother, Eva Tew McInnis, has many "Eva-isms," as she calls them. My favorites are: "Only hurt people hurt people." "Jesus loves the little children, ALL the children of the world; Red, yellow, black or white..." (Although she didn't pen this song or saying, she would remind me of this when any prejudice was witnessed or heard of...) "Never listen to or participate in gossip. People who relay gossip to you will gossip about you too." "Don't use four-letter words--they make you look ignorant and cheap." Ava Elaine Gunaca Destin, FL
Picture: My mother, Eva McInnis
Early to Rise
Early to Rise
My father was born in the former Soviet Union during the start of World War II in 1940. His parents were hard-working people, and their wisdom he passed on to me. When I was a young girl and would sometimes get lazy and want to sleep late, my dad would tell me a Russian saying, which in English goes: "G-d gives to those who rise early." I have been waking up at 5 a.m. my whole adult life. This daily routine has helped me accomplish a lot (graduate from law school, have two young active kids, and work hard as a paralegal in a law firm, and manage a household). I am grateful to my dad for teaching me that when you don't waste time in the morning, you get a lot more accomplished in your life. Violetta Volovnikov Milman Sherman Oaks, California Picture: My mom and dad
A Better Tomorrow
A Better Tomorrow
One of my paternal aunts once told me, "Tomorrow IS a better day." She explained that when you're down one day, and life becomes too overwhelming, you tell yourself that tomorrow IS a better day. This starts the process of creation, as you realign your thought patterns and actually look forward to a better day, making it better along the way. This allows me the time to relax and think and put a plan in place to actually create my tomorrow. I don't attempt to solve the problem on the bad day. I allow it to flutter in the wind and dissipate throughout the bad day. Sure enough, when I do this, tomorrow IS a better day! Pam Phairas Bloomington, MN