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Q:

I am three months out of a relationship with an emotionally unavailable narcissist. Even though each day that goes by is easier, I have found that I don't want to date anyone, maybe for fear of being hurt so badly again. I just don't have the effort to put into a relationship again. I don't like being alone, but men don't seem to want to be just friends without some romantic stuff getting in there. I don't want that, and I don't know when I will feel different. I don't think I can trust again.

In the meantime, maybe I am passing by the guy that is right for me. I have gone to counseling to get through this gut-wrenching time, but I still feel empty. Any advice? I am 46 with three grown children. Thanks.

--Barbara

A:

Dear Barbara,

Look, you may not be so quick to trust men again, but probably the peskier issue for you is that you don't trust your own judgment. I'd suggest that you just sit with it, trust the timing, allow for the second-guessing (maybe that's not such a terrible thing), and don't be in a panic. There are lots of Mr. Rights, and your readiness is the key variable. Let a few walk by. There are more where those came from. Meantime, do some productive introspection around what blinded you with this one.

Good luck.