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Love Times Three
By Joe, Alina, Vicki and Valeria DargerReview: For me, polygamy brings to mind a series of negative images and stereotypes.  The controlling man who needs many wives.  The pervert who wants 20 or more children.  The women who are too weak to have a monogamous relationship with a man.These stereotypes were all smashed when I read Love Times Three.  Presented as a first person narrative–in which all of the Darger wives and Joe Darger (the husband to all three women and 20+ children) express their views equally and with great clarity.  Presented by the Dargers, polygamy sounds like a truly spiritual journey to love one’s husband, his wives and all of the offspring unselfishly and with great heart.

I was most touched by the story of how Joe, Vicki and Alina courted each other (and it was a three-way decision to be married at the same time).  The tenderness, restraint and depth of their mutual relationships made me wonder what so many monogamous courtships were missing.  Joe, Alina and Valerie took their time to get to know each other, exercised sexual restraint, talked openly about their needs (and issues) and tenderly made the decision to embrace each other for a lifetime.

What follows this initial segment is a detailed description of what it takes to manage such a large family and so many complex relationships with openness and grace.  Unlike the hit TV show Big Love, their lives aren’t rife with drama.  Instead, they seem to be achieving their goal of loving each other for a lifetime–and accepting all of the challenges of such a large (and costly) family with ease.

Recommended for: Everyone.  This book was entertaining, educational and truly opened my mind to the benefits of a carefully navigated polygamous family.  Read this book–and then decide for yourself whether or not you are supportive of polygamy.

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