I was charged by the Coast Guard to buy a house near Station Rockland in Maine to be converted into military housing. But after many delays on our part, the owners’ lawyer got antsy.

“I don’t like working with the government,” the man said. “I’m not sure I’d even trust one of your checks.”

“I wouldn’t worry,” I replied. “Not only do we print our own checks, we also print the money to back them up.”
— Bruce Herman