The chief and I were on our submarine trying in vain to hook up some fire hoses. The wrenches we had didn’t fit the connections, so he resorted to banging away at the hoses to make things fit. Just then an ensign walked by.

“Chief,” he yelled out, “I have a book on tools you can borrow.”

“Get it!” shouted the chief. “It’s got to be heavier than this wrench I’m using.”

–Rich Stahl