Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of “The Law of Sobriety” which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your copy of “Manifest Holistic Health” from Sherry’s Enrich Your Life Series. Contact Sherry at sherry@sgabatherapy.com for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on “A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba”on CBS Radio.

Perception is everything.    Constantly berating  yourself of what “should have been” in your life will only bring you what you don’t want.   When you are focused on what should be as opposed to what is or what can be you are automatically in a negative thought process that looks for others to pin the blame for the reality of the situation.

For example, if I am constantly thinking that what should have been is that I never become an addict, always had job of my dreams and always had the “things” I want in life I am focused on what  I do not have. Since my thoughts are negative everywhere I look I see what I think I can’t have.  The Universe does not decipher between negative and positive thoughts.  This may include people with great professional careers, individuals that are successfully in recovery and people that have a picture perfect relationship. I constantly envy, covet and desire their achievements while failing to see that I too have the potential to reach these aspirations.

It is essential to give up trying to be someone else and to have the same “things” as others. Instead, look at just what “is” or what values, talents and gifts that you bring to the table. Look towards the big picture you want to achieve as opposed to the little tangibles that are markers of this type of achievement. The positive change in your world will be amazing and you will find that opportunities to achieve your big picture goals begin to present themselves. In reality they were always there; it is just the negative thoughts that overrode the positives in your life were blocking them from view.