Question submitted via Formspring:
“One of my friends actually believes being negative is as ok as being positive. He is constantly desolate and sad due to victimizing himself and not trusting anyone. Am I not able to convince him because I am not positive enough?”

A couple of things: First, it isn’t up to you to convince your friend of anything; all you have to do is be there for him when he needs you.  Of course, how positive you are may have an impact on him, but we’ll come back to that in a minute.

The other thing is, he doesn’t really think that being negative is just as good as being positive; but his life experience has caused him to believe negativity is the safer bet.  Since if you always assume the worst, you can never be disappointed, right?

Unfortunately, that is not the case, since not only does assuming the worst not make the worst any easier to deal with when it arrives, it robs the present of its joy. And of course, the Law of Attraction teaches us that the more negative emotion we put out into the Universe, the more negativity we’ll attract back to us.

Chances are extremely high that there is some unresolved baggage, issues, and trauma from his past that you may or may not know about that is holding him down.  And as long as there are things that he has not forgiven himself or someone else for, it will be difficult for him to be truly happy, since you have to learn how to forgive before you can learn how to trust.

Which brings us back to what you can do for him, and that is this: Be a good example.  It doesn’t matter whether or not you are ‘positive enough’, since it’s not a competition; it only matters that you are consistent.   It also doesn’t matter how many times you watch The Secret or post positive quotes, if you get angry or disappointed when things don’t go your way, because he sees it.  If you get all excited about manifesting a new Ferrari one moment, and give up after a week, he sees that, too.

But above all else, remember there is nothing wrong with him; he’s doing the best he can, just like everyone else.  He has to do some inner work and start making different choices to get different results, which is something you cannot do for him.  Focus on being the best friend that you can, and building the best life that you can and everything else will fall into place.

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B. Dave Walters Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

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