Unedited question submitted via Formspring 
“If your in the long distance relationship should i make the first move and go to were he is or should he come here first to see me we was engaged once about 10yrs ago what do u think i should do?”

The simple answer is, it doesn’t matter who makes the first move.
If one of you has the time and resources available to make the trip, do it.
As always, if you can’t communicate, you don’t have a relationship; and that’s even more true in a long distance relationship, since all you can do is talk.

There appears to be a deeper problem here, though.
And that is: you two don’t communicate very well.
Since you were engaged once ten years ago, and for whatever reason didn’t get married. That means whatever situation you faced became insurmountable, which usually only comes with a lack of communication, especially when big problems are still small.

Besides that, you’ve clearly known this man for over TEN YEARS and you are worried about asking to get together?
What happens when it comes time to talk about moving?
Or getting married for real this time? Or having kids?
If it’s still so difficult to make even simple plans, or even *talk * about making simple plans, it would seem like you all don’t have a very firm foundation at all to build a relationship on.

Start focusing on how to communicate, and more importantly how to listen to one another
Once you have better and more open communication, then things like figuring out who’s coming to visit when will get much easier to sort out.

What do you think ? Feel free to comment down below!

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B. Dave Walters

Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host

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