Art by Melanie Weidner

It is a commonly held belief among explorers of the New Consciousness that as souls, we work with our guides to choose the life that we will next be born into.  For many people that’s a horrifying thought!  Why would I choose the kind of torment I experienced as a kid?

But the birthchart often reflects with eerie accuracy the psychological setting of the family of origin.  Pluto conjunct the Moon – your mother seemed terrifying to you?  Saturn square the Sun – you never felt you were good enough for your father?  Yet you were born with this astrological chart; the birthchart predates the events that cause us emotional pain.  This makes it hard to continue blaming our parents since it appears that we come into this world already prewired for certain experiences.   Later in life we learn to make conscious choices that lift us out of a state where we simply react to external stimuli that keep us stuck in the psychodrama of our lives.

I am always impressed by the tenacity and strength of my clients, many of whom have come through difficult childhoods with tremendous coping skills and an eagerness to transcend their limitations.  The nugget of transformation lies within every painful situation, and is a great gift.

I’m not so sure it’s necessary to forgive the ones that hurt us, but I DO believe it’s imperative that we end the cycle of blame.  As long as we blame anyone, whether it’s ourselves or someone else, we keep ourselves locked in a box of victimhood from which we can’t escape.  When we make a choice to turn away from blame and self-pity, we naturally open to the gift of power and transformation that awaits.