“Lovers don’t just find each other. They’re in each other all along.”       – Rumi 

How is it that as human beings we long to find that perfect mate and dream that when we do we’ll be made whole? It’s like some magical and mystical yearning was implanted in our hearts from the beginning of time that brings us to meet and mate and part and meet again. It’s beyond human understanding, how the heart yearns and how we can be drawn to the perfect person who both gives joy and pushes our buttons.

Some scientists will say that this is genetic, instinctual. But there’s another aspect to this yearning as well, a spiritual and emotional aspect, one that brings us to want to be whole. That wholeness comes through reaching out and opening up the heart. It heals old wounds when two people touch and dare to stand transparent in the light of Love.

The hard part is that when we dare to open on that most intimate of levels, we can also be hurt. The alternative is to remain closed and not fully experience love at all. To love with wisdom is the answer, understanding that in this very short life, joy does not come without pain, nor pain without joy. That relationship that we love will eventually transform into something different. But the birds that mate each spring season — some of them for life — do not hesitate. They come together, build a life and then move with the winds and currents, North and then South again. I’m sure they feel pain of separation and the joy of coming together in ways not so unlike ours.

As life brings so many changes, I believe the ways we experience love relationships will also change. Rock music focuses on the pain of loss, but what if, instead, we accept the precious moments and embrace whatever comes. We all like security and certainty, but in reality the only way to fully love life is to live in the moment in full awareness of the possibilities that it offers right now. It’s also a certainty, that when we live awake, each experience will contribute to our growth and expansion.

So if you’ve been hesitating about reaching out to someone who your heart is nudging you towards, be courageous. Even if the yearning is not requited, it may lead to something else, another opening, another connection. Life is too short to live with the regrets of what might have been. Let love replace the fear and allow your heart to soar on wings of love. Happy Valentines Day!

Bio: Debra Moffitt is author of Awake in the World: 108 Practices to Live a Divinely Inspired Life. A visionary, dreamer and teacher, she’s devoted to nurturing the spiritual in everyday life. She leads workshops on spiritual practices at the Sophia Institute and other venues in the U.S. and Europe. Her mind/body/spirit articles, essays and stories appear in publications around the globe and were broadcast by BBC World Services Radio. She has spent over fifteen years practicing meditation, working with dreams and doing spiritual practices. Visit her online at http://www.awakeintheworld.com.