Sex and spirituality don’t often end up in the same sentence. Particularly in America attitudes about sex make it dirty and lust-related. There’s a pretension of being “free” and “open” which is disconnected from reality. Putting pictures of sexy women on a magazine cover and being free to wear short skirts and sexy clothing is not necessarily freedom or liberating, in fact quite often it’s a trap for women and men who restrict themselves and others to the physical appearance and relate to each other only at this level. It uses sex as power and control and disconnects us from the deeper union that happens when all aspects of the human being are engaged – body, mind and spirit. 

The media plays on images of bodies, desire and attractiveness to give a false sense that we are only physical beings. It limits and confines us and the ads sear our souls and harm our deeper sense of self-worth. By becoming conscious of the physical desires related to genes and the species need to reproduce and by waking up to a deeper or higher level of consciousness, we can move into a place where we are no longer manipulated and controlled by the environment and society. We can make choices to relate to each other as one divine being to another.

A relationship where all of the individual is fully engaged – body, mind and spirit, becomes dynamic, alive, and vibrant. It nourishes the spirit, appeals to the senses, pleases the sensual and satisfies desires in a deep and fulfilling way. It engages the emotions and the subtle senses. This form of relating, I believe, can only come through a committed relationship where both partners are willing to do the work and stand spiritually, mentally and emotionally naked in front of each other. It’s more than just bodies that meet. When the energy of love arises and both share the highest intentions and deep consideration for what is best for the other, the world of relating transforms.

Relating through the heart brings the wisdom to know when it’s appropriate to share one’s self in all of these ways, and with whom. The wisdom heart knows. It protects and guides us to make wise decisions that promote self-care and respect for self and others. When fully engaged at this level intimacy challenges us to face our fears, be fully present to the moment and live in a divinely inspired way. There’s nothing superficial about it.

Bio: Debra Moffitt is author of Awake in the World: 108 Practices to Live a Divinely Inspired Life. A visionary, dreamer and teacher, she’s devoted to nurturing the spiritual in everyday life. She leads workshops on spiritual practices at the Sophia Institute and other venues in the U.S. and Europe. Her mind/body/spirit articles, essays and stories appear in publications around the globe and were broadcast by BBC World Services Radio. She has spent over fifteen years practicing meditation, working with dreams and doing spiritual practices. Visit her online at http://www.awakeintheworld.com.