There was a time when I was the queen of resistance. You name it I resisted it. Resistance is this thing that keeps us repeating patterns and feeling stuck, confused, baffled and like life is always happening TO us. It shows up in countless forms like blame, criticism, and judgment. It keeps us pointing the finger at others and prevents us from taking responsibility for ourselves. It keeps us focused on everything that is wrong about our circumstances rather than focusing on what we can learn or what gifts we can find in them. It keeps us so far removed from our inner truth that we find ourselves powerless and unable to see clearly. Resistance is ugly and futile.

So what is the remedy?

Acceptance. What a simple word, right? It sounds so easy and yet it is one of the most powerful spiritual principles that has the ability to create miraculous transformation. What’s also true is that it only works if we work it. The power is within us, not in the idea of it.

Often when I introduce this principle to my clients, the response is not one that is welcomed with open arms. And for good reason, most of us think that because it sounds so simple, we already know what acceptance is all about and that it can’t possibly create much change. This is where we lose out on giving ourselves the possibility of creating an even deeper truthful experience with ourselves and creating new results in our lives. The moment we think we know it all is the moment we must pause and give ourselves permission to know nothing at all. This is the moment that true wisdom can come through us. We can tell ourselves we know everything and anything, but if we aren’t willing to throw ourselves into the fire of actually allowing ourselves to experience it, we will never open up to welcoming in the wisdom that comes along with the experience. Wisdom results from experience not from telling ourselves a good story. Acceptance requires courage, vigilance and a willingness to step outside of our comfort zone.

I have witnessed my clients create massive shifts when they are willing to drop there resistance, open up to not having all the answers and having the willingness to offer themselves a new experience.

A powerful example of this can be seen in a client of mine that kept telling herself she did not know how to walk away from men that disrespected her. She continuously resisted these situations by blaming and criticizing the men that she dated. In her last go around of this pattern she was able to take responsibility for her part and surrender to fully accepting the man she was dating exactly as he was. This enabled her to clearly see what was “his stuff” and also see where she did have control. She was able to take back her power by walking away from this repetitive pattern after being caught in it for many years with different men. Another client was neglected and harshly judged by her parents, which kept her from knowing and owning her self-worth. This caused her to neglect and judge her parents in return. This is something we can all relate to, right? It is so easy to want to give back what we are receiving. We think it will make us feel better or empower us in some crazy way. But in fact it results in the opposite outcome. It disempowers us and we just end up mirroring the very behavior that we are judging. When she could fully accept her parents exactly as they were, she was able to take back her energy and pour it into regaining her confidence and her self-worth. She was able to speak her truth and make decisions that felt right for her regardless of the criticism and judgment she received. And what’s even more miraculous is that she received support from her parents simply as a result of choosing to support herself first.

Acceptance is powerful and yet so simplistic. We as humans tend to make everything so much harder than it is. We are taught that we need to work hard to earn the reward. Acceptance does not require work. There is no doing in the physical sense of the word; it is a chosen way of being. Like anything else, it is a choice we must make. No choice is right or wrong, but from my personal experience and the results of those that I have worked with acceptance is a powerfully creative choice that allows room for self-empowerment and miracles. It allows us to see clearly and to differentiate between the lies we tell ourselves and the truth of our own heart. What’s better than that?