“My greatest regret is that I didn’t learn how to tell the truth sooner. I spent a lot of my life looking into people’s faces for what they wanted the answers to be. I didn’t look into myself for the answers. For years, I didn’t say the truth to people because I didn’t want them to not like me. I didn’t want them to be mad at me and I didn’t want them to be disappointed. When I finally learned how to say no I found out that actually sometimes they don’t like you for it and they are disappointed and that’s fine. You let them go and you keep around you those that can live in your truth with you.” Elizabeth Gilbert

This message by Elizabeth Gilbert is powerful and is filled with so much freedom and wisdom. Can you relate? This is a universal challenge that most of us face in our own lives.

As a child and even into my adolescent and adult years, I can recall many times where I would find myself saying yes when I really meant no. I can remember responding to people based on what I thought they wanted to hear rather than what I really felt.

The big question here is why would we do something that robs us of our truth? As I have become more and more aware of this behavior within myself, I have come to understand that this is something that we often do without the realization that we are even doing it. We become so comfortable with the feeling of people pleasing that it feels natural. We learn it at such an early age because somewhere along the line we decided that at a fundamental level we weren’t safe if we disappointed others or if people disapproved of us. And so we do everything in our power to keep the peace even when we are living a war within ourselves. Sounds kind of cray – cray huh?

How have I managed to shift this behavior within myself? The truth is “I haven’t fully, but I commit to working on it everyday. It’s a work in progress and it always will be. But is it worth it? Yes. What exactly has helped me to express my truth even when I know I’ll rock the boat, ruffle feathers, or cause conflict? I continue to release the belief that states, “It’s not safe to speak my truth” while taking on a new belief that says, “It’s safe and empowering to know, feel and speak my truth and those that truly hold this same belief for themselves will respect and support me.” This new belief feels much more aligned with the sense of freedom and empowerment that I wish to feel. I notice that it becomes easier for me to let go of toxic relationships and welcome in supportive, nourishing relationships where I am free to be who I am. I don’t need to argue my truth, explain it, or fight for it. When we decide to fully embody the truth of who we are and take a stand for it, there will be people that may not be comfortable with you, but rest assured the universe has your back and will bring you those who will be comfortable with you and love and embrace you for exactly who you are.