Here are some addiction-breaking aphorisms that Halpern lists in his book, “How to Break Your Addiction to a Person.” They are helpful for me not only in ending dysfunctional friendships, but in trying to stop any kind of destructive habit–like devouring the four chocolates I just did before typing this.

1. You can live without him/her (probably better).

2. A love (or any healthy) relationship is mutual and helps each partner feel better about himself, not worse.

3. Guilt is not reason enough to stay.

4. You don’t have to love someone to be addicted to him.

5. What you see is what you get, so stop hanging on to the belief that you can change the other person.

6. Just because you’re jealous doesn’t mean you love him; you can be jealous of someone you can’t stand.

7. You can’t always work it out, no matter how much you may want to.

8. Some people die of bad relationships. Do you want to be one of them?

9. The pain of ending it won’t last forever. In fact, it won’t last nearly as long as the pain of not ending it.

10. If it will be the same way five or ten years from now, do you want it?

11. There will be anxiety, loneliness, depression when you end it, but these feelings will last for only a limited amount of time and then will stop.

12. You won’t be alone forever; that’s thinking in Infant Time.

13. It’s never too late to make a change; the longer you wait, the more time wasted.

14. The intensity of your withdrawal symptoms does not indicate the strength of your love but the strength of your addiction.

15. You are a whole and valuable person apart from that relationship.

16. When you feel inadequate, incomplete, or worthless apart from him/her, childhood feelings are taking over.

17. He/she is not the “one and only.”

18. If you end this bad relationship, you will be opening your life to new possibilities.