Here’s some background you might need for choosing my inner child:
The Freaky Therese: I haven’t been able to dig up an official background check on this babe, but she does resemble those dolls that come alive in the middle of the night to reenact a scene or two from “Fatal Attraction.”
Ariel (aka “The Little Mermaid“): King Triton’s headstrong daughter who wants to be something other than what she is … a human. Like all of Disney’s motherless princesses, daddy dotes on her … in an unnatural, Freudian way, if you ask me.
Nori (the chick from the Barbie “Mermadia” movie): With the aquamarine-dyed hair, she’s obviously rebelling against a controlling and overly protective father, and her jealousy issues towards Elina (Barbie), who is only trying to help rescue Nalu (who, in my opinion, isn’t worth getting worked up over) as a good friend, suggest she might be a narcissist at heart.
Belle (from “The Beauty and the Beast“): Can you imagine this broad’s baggage after being locked up in a castle and kept captive by a heinous monster? She probably kisses the Beast in the end not because she’s fallen in love, but because she’s truly psychotic.
Naked Barbie: I supsect this gal suffers from sensory-integration issues because she walks around on her tippy-toes. And then there’s the anorexia with breast implants. You didn’t think they were real, did you?