I was also very moved by Nancy’s comment on that same message board:

[Your post] brings tears to my eyes as I identify with all that you said and the unspoken words also. It is a deep longing and pain so far within the soul. Yes, I also too am blessed in many ways and with all of the suffering that goes on in this world, at times I “feel” ungrateful if I’m not filled with joy according to my circumstancs, “crosses” and “stuff.”
I can relate only too well with wanting to indulge in every form of addiction, as they tell me – “Come on and join us in the process of your self-destruction”. Now believe me, I’m not actually “hearing” those voices, but the “committee” holds counsel all evening while I’m dreaming my usual nightmares (I said to my husband, why can’t I just dream about hanging out in a field of daisies in the sunshine!!)- and as I awaken the “chattering” begins.

I still don’t get this entire issue on suffering and what I perceive as injustices, especially on a day like today. I know that in my human limitations of being able to grasp this concept in its total sum that I never will during this earthly period of existence; but I still think it just totally stinks that (how eloquent!) so much suffering exists. I know of so many good people who have suffered severe injustices.
Dare I put myself in that category?
Of course my head says, “Who do you think you are?” You have nothing to complain about. Denying the truth of my pain and internalizing my thoughts, twisting myself inside out to accomodate others, and yes, wanting the works of “volunteerism” to be the carrying of the cross, which I performed for years to the extreme. Oh the roof deck of mental health and peace of mind – WOW – so seldom am I there. I don’t think it was included on Dr. Suess’s “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!”
I pray for you, me, your readers and all who are suffering and carrying our crosses that we may be blessed we the peace that surpasses all understanding. Not due to circumstances or all of our “ducks” in a row or because we have been overly productive and accomplished many good works – just because we know we are loved.