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You have to distinguish between love and infatuation. That’s difficult because they both involve a throbbing organ. -Me

Dear God, Today feels like pizza day in the canned-green-peas-smelling cafeteria of my soul. Because I get to read the Beatitudes! Hands down, my favorite passage in your book (the Bible). For this at-times pessimistic, skeptical person, your eight promises give me a better shot (than had I spent the fifteen minutes reading the DaVinci…

Blest are you with IBS Irritable Bowel Syndrome), for you shall be able to eat nachos again. Blest are you who breastfed, for you shall inherit free implants to repair all the damage. Blest are you who shop at plus-sizes boutiques, you’ll never have to eat a Jenny Craig dinner again. Blest are you with…

This is one of my guardian angel’s favorite passages, from Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet.” I think it reads much like the Beatitudes. Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into…
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