I recently confessed to a friend who suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder that I get anxious upon hearing the humming sound of the cicadas in late July because I know summer is about finished and it’s almost time to get the kids new shoes for school.

I mourn the end of summer each year. True, I have had my worst relapses in these hot months. But if I were to track my mood since I emerged from the womb, my mood historically is much more stable and toward the happier side in June, July, and August. As a kid my symptoms of anxiety nearly disappeared during the summers–maybe as a result of all the Vitamin D I was getting while basking in the sunlight. Growing up, I packed summer full of great times: swim meets, hanging out at the pool, working as lifeguard (as a teenager), using the cash pool members paid for their guests as beer money (I finally confessed it to the manager, of course). As an adult I can sometimes go back to that “happy place” in my brain by doing the things I did in the summer: swimming laps with a friend, getting a (sugar) cone of mint-chocolate chip ice-cream with chocolate sprinkles from Friendly’s, or both.

Apparently my kids have learned to like summer too.

“What is today?” Katherine asked me during lunch today after her first day of preschool.

“Today is Tuesday,” I replied.

“No, I mean, is it still summer?” she asked.

“No. Today is the Fall.”

“NO!!! NO!!!” She starts screaming. “WHEN WILL IT BE SUMMER AGAIN!?!”

But the start of a new school year also gives me an opportunity, like the end of December, to figure out what I want to do differently in my life and, more specifically, in my recovery from depression, and to challenge myself to grow in the ways I think I need do. You know how the obsessive-compulsive perfectionist thinks … every day is an opportunity to make a list of goals!

So a few weeks ago I shared the following goals with my therapist, and I’m happy to report I’m adhering to all them to date.

My Goals for the 2008-2009 School Year

1. To shut down my computer in the hours when I’m not working.

2. To shut down my computer at six in the evening, and not to open it until I arrive at my working hour.

3. Meditate for 15 minutes everyday before I begin anything else, or (if the kids are up) before I begin my work.

4. Fit in all my work-related communications during my working hours, not in my personal time.

5. Go to lunch or dinner with Eric once a week, or do something fun together like kayaking.

6. Continue regular therapy.

7. Once a month have a mental-health afternoon when I can do something fun by myself.

8. Organize day trips with the kids. Be creative with all those afternoon they don’t have school (we’re talking five or six every month).

9. Continue to research ways to handle David’s anxiety.

10. Devote at least two hours of individual time with David each week.

What are yours?

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