On Mindful Monday, my readers and I practice the art of pausing, TRYING to be still, or considering, ever so briefly, the big picture. We’re hoping this soul time will provide enough peace of mind to get us through the week!

I’m noticing a pattern in my life and the lives of others around me: the more you go public with your opinions and beliefs, and the more friends you have on Facebook, the harder it is to consistently act with integrity. With a few exceptions, I think this is the problem we run into with politicians, and some spiritual leaders (save Jesus, Mother Teresa, and Ghandi), and Fortune 500 executives.

I’m no President of the United States, or pastor of the largest church in America, or Bill Gates, but I’m now feeling the pressure of what the polls say, of where the bulk of my traffic is: how I can get the most page views and what people want me to write about. And then there’s the voice of my heart’s desire, which tells me to ignore all of that and just write from my soul.

In the process of asking people to offer endorsements for my forthcoming memoir, “Beyond Blue,” I wrote to Peter Kramer, bestselling author of “Listening to Prozac” and “Against Depression.” He’s a hero of mine, this man, for providing me with the right words to tell myself on afternoons with a relative or well-intentioned friend who might say something like “depression as an illness doesn’t exist.”

So first I requested to be Peter’s friend on Facebook, a clever strategy suggested by my friend and brilliant publicity director, Priscilla Warner.

He accepted!

I waited a few weeks before sending him a tactful request because, well, I didn’t want him to think I was a stalker. His response made me respect him even more, and has me still thinking. He wrote:

For 15 years, I have tried not to endorse memoirs — too many people to insult if I don’t like the books, and as you may know from “Against Depression,” for various reasons, I’ve become leery of the form. But good luck with yours. Sorry not to be more helpful.

I thanked him for his reply, and confessed to him that I blurb books all the time that I don’t like because I don’t want to be unpopular. And while I laughed at what I wrote, it did make me consider Don Miguel Ruiz’s first agreement (in his book “The Four Agreements”): “Be Impeccable with Your Word”

Why? Miguel writes this:

The first agreement is the most important one and also the most difficult one to honor….It sounds very simple, but it is very, very powerful. 

Why your word? Your word is the power that you have to create. Your word is the gift that comes directly from God. …Through the word you express your creative power. It is through the word that you manifest everything. Regardless of what language you speak, your intent manifests through the word. What you dream, what you feel, and what you really are, will all be manifested through the word.

So here’s the thing … now that I am using words A LOT, I probably should be more careful with them. Because what I say and what I write are a good gauge of whether or not I’m acting with integrity: they’re like an integrity scale.

It’s tempting to chase after the story of the day–like a frozen Lean Cuisine that was recalled–because I know that my page view numbers will go up. But the truth is that I don’t give a hoot about the Lean Cuisine dinner. I haven’t eaten one since I was anorexic in high school: they were so bad it was incentive not to eat anything.

Even though my numbers might go as flat as a dead pulse if I write about what it means to act with integrity–instead of how Jennifer Aniston has more integrity than Angelina Jolie, or comparing both of their work-out routines and diets, maybe mentioning either’s trip to the plastic surgeon–I think I might get a taste of the deep and lasting fulfillment that spiritual author Henri Nouwen writes about (from “Modern Spiritual Master” edited by Robert Ellsberg):

Somewhere deep in our hearts, we already know that success, fame, influence, power, and money [and let me add HIGH PAGE VIEW NUMBERS] do not give us the inner joy and peace we crave. Somewhere we can even sense a certain envy of those who have shed all false ambitions and found a deeper fulfillment in their relationship with God. Yes, somewhere we can even get a taste of that mysterious joy in the smile of those who have nothing to lose.

To read more Beyond Blue, go to http://blog.beliefnet.com/beyondblue, and to get to Group Beyond Blue, a support group at Beliefnet Community, click here.

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