Blogger friend Ovidia who writes “The Busy Time” just posted the following piece on her blog about the obsession to be loved by a certain someone. I wanted to post it, at least in part, because I’ve received such an overwhelming response to the support group that I just started last night for persons involved in or grieving an emotional affair. Last week, when I posted my “12 ways to mend a broken heart,” my in-box was full as well. Perhaps some of my BB readers will find consolation in Ovidia’s honest post. For the full text, click here.
The crux of the matter is this:
I cannot seem to get over this obsessive need to be loved by someone. A man/partner/friend-and-lover someone.
The longer I am alone and lonely, the more I desire this relationship and the sicker I get.
The more I want it and the sicker I get, the more off-putting I become and the less likely I am to find it.
Even when I am white-knuckling through the days, trying to control my thoughts and impersonate a normal person, there is stuff going on inside my heart that I cannot seem to control.
I “didn’t meet” someone at a work function last month, but was intrigued. Became Facebook friends, discovered he was single and his dogs were his life, and sent him a raft of helpful (?) messages when they got out and were lost, briefly.
Wandered over to his building and introduced myself last week; had a 20 minute, very enjoyable conversation about four-leggeds, and he accepted an invitation to tour the new animal shelter Saturday.
For the rest of the week, I did everything in my power to reign in my wayward thoughts, to view them with amusement and let them go when appropriate, and to concentrate on the fact that if I was going to have someone come over, I was going to have to clean the living room and the kitchen and that was A Good Thing, no matter WHAT the circumstances. Confessed all to my therapist Thursday and got some helpful advice as well as encouragement that I was on the right track.
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