Today I published John McManamy’s tribute to Kevin, a friend he lost to suicide. I wanted to link to Susan Schechter’s tribute, as well, because it not only tells us about a lovely soul that was suffering too much to endure any more life, but also of the small prayer–the glance to the stars and to the moon–that saved Susan when she was tempted to take her life in the same way as Kevin. I have excerpted a few paragraphs below, but I urge you to read her tribute, which you can find by clicking here, especially if you are feeling suicidal yourself.

What people don’t realize about Kevin is that he had so much love in his heart for other people. When his friend N- had car troubles and needed to purchase a car- he took her too his old car dealership and helped her purchase a beauty. He loved facilitating in our group, and helping other people when he worked at CSP. He was always there for his friend G. He was always there for me when my marriage ended. He gave freely of his time, offering and ear and never asked for anything in return, only to learn, more about human nature.
And maybe that is what ultimately lead him on the last few hours of his short life to the Princeton Junction train station. His heart gave out.
I understand the lure of the train. Back in 2001, at my most suicidal, I too went to the same train station, parked my car in the same parking lot, left my handbag and a note on the windshield, saying simply “:I am sorry”. Locked the car, put the keys in my jeans pocket, and walked down the tunnel up to the train tracks. And waited for the train.
About an hour later, I could see the headlight in the distance. I could hear the noise. It would have been so easy to jump down, and sit on the tracks. But then I looked up at the stars and strand of moon and changed my mind. Kevin didn’t. I don’t know in the last milliseconds if he stared at the headlight and said a silent prayer. i don’t know if he looked at the full moon. We never will know. What I do know is so many of us, had we been there with him, would have pushed him out of harm’s way quickly- and done the ultimate sacrifice so he might live.

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