If you have a minute and are struggling with an awkward friendship, you should read some of the comments over at PyschCentral.com on my post, “8 Steps to Closure When a Friendship Ends.” Among them:

This article came into my mailbox just in time.I’ve been in many unhealthy relationships and at times put my true feelings on the shelf, most of which did nothing to empower me. Last night I decided to move on with a new outlook for new friendships-that actually encourage me to be a better me. I am not looking for perfection but acceptance of the real me.

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This is a wonderful article that is helping me get through a tough day. I thought my feelings were gone but for some reason they have resurfaced; but now I will use these exercises to get rid of them for good. But the most important thing to do is to trust God, he is not through with me yet.

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I have learned to realize that people are in our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. It is important to understand the position of everyone in your live. Once you identify the appropriate category, act on it, learn whatever was meant to be learned and move on. Unfortunately, it will hurt but we must learn to be able to let go of those toxic people in our lives so that God can bless us with flourishing people. People who will build us up, are there for us and someone we can trust – always…Be willing to accept only the best. We deserve it…

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I sometimes think we have a tendency to select friends with whom we are confortable even if the relationship can be damaging. For instance, we may choose friends similar to those we have experienced within a dysfunctional family. Maybe it’s the predictability. Maybe we’re still trying to “fix” the problem. A mentor friend once advised me to alwaysd associate myself with those who valued me and from whom I could learn and grow, which was good advice.

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Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is come to terms with the fact that not everyone is capable of being a loyal good friend. I was friends with a woman who I felt was verbally abusive, manipulative and emotionally draining. After several attempts to talk to her rationally she told me that I just had to accept her as she is. That is when I decided that being her friend would be making the choice to be continuously taken advantage of. I ended the friendship and feel at peace with it.