There is a spark within each of us–I call it our “mojo”–that makes us special as individuals as well as mothers. That spark may simmer down to an ember during demanding phases of parenting, but it is essential to stay in touch with that ember, to protect it, and be prepared to build it back up into a bonfire when the opportunity presents itself. Here are some basic steps busy moms can take to keep that inner spark glowing.
1. Fill Your Own Cup
It is essential to tend to your basic needs and avoid burnout. You can build a strong reservoir of energy by “filling your own cup” with enough sleep, good nutrition, and medical care. We moms need to learn to care for ourselves as well as nurture and tend to our children.
I know that sometimes after I’ve orchestrated my family’s breakfast and ushered them out the door in the morning, I truly forget that I have not actually eaten breakfast myself. It is essential to wake up to our lives and make our basic needs as a conscious and well-tended priority.
Taking good care of yourself will also make you a better mother, but it’s also important to acknowledge that you deserve to be well-cared for, for your own sake.
2. Give Yourself Time to Adjust
When you add children to your life, your priorities become guided by a new North Star. Be kind to yourself and understand it will take time to adjust to your life as a mother. Women are often given very unrealistic expectations about motherhood, and the gap between expectation and reality can lead to disappointment. Exhaustion, loneliness, feelings of inadequacy can surface. By realizing that these feelings are normal–typical, if not ideal–you can spare yourself from on piling guilt during this adjustment period.
3. Reclaim Your Mind Space
Caring for young children is joyful and rewarding, but also time-consuming and often overwhelming. You may feel frustrated that you have very little time to yourself. But you can turn frustration into creative tension by thinking about what you would do if you had a free hour, day, or even weekend to yourself. Make a list: Would you write in a journal, get back to playing the piano, visit a museum, or just take a nap? There is no judgment here. When you have very little free time, your priorities can come into focus. Then, when you can arrange to have the independent time you crave, you’ll know how to invest it wisely.
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