On Mindful Monday, my readers and I practice the art of pausing, TRYING to be still, or considering, ever so briefly, the big picture. We’re hoping this soul time will provide enough peace of mind to get us through the week!
In her international bestseller, “Angels in My Hair,” Irish mystic Lorna Byrne writes:
As you sit there reading this–whether you believe it or not–there is an angel by your side: it is your guardian angel, and it never leaves you. Each one of us have been given a gift, a shield made from the energy of light. It is a part of the guardian angel’s task to put this shield around us. To God and the angels we are all equal; we all deserve to be protected, to be cared for, and to be loved, regardless of what others might think of us–good or bad. When I look at someone I can physically see this shield around them; it’s as if it’s alive.
Your guardian angel is the gatekeeper of your body and your soul. He was assigned to you before you were even conceived; as you grew in your mother’s womb he was there with you at every moment, protecting you. Once you were born and as you grow up your guardian angel never leaves your side for an instant; he is with you when you sleep, when you are in the bathroom, all the time–you are never alone. Then, when you die, your guardian angel is there beside you, helping you to pass over. …Human beings are much more than flesh and blood, and as you become aware of this and start to believe that you have a soul, your connection with the angels will blossom.
I believe in angels, too. But in a different sort of way.
I believe that God sends you “spiritual guides” as Henri Nouwen describes it:
It is far from easy to keep living where God is. Therefore, God gives you people who help to hold you in that place and call you back to it every time you wander off. Your spiritual guides keep reminding you of where your deepest desire is being fulfilled.
I can name several in my life.
My high school religion teacher, with some help from some other teachers, somehow inspired me to give up booze and begin the road to recovery and to a deeper spiritual life.
The woman I call my guardian angel, Ann Omohundro, was there, sitting on an Amtrak train, to pull me out of my denial about being a manic depressive. She was the voice of reason during those first months of confusion, urging me to listen to the psychiatrists who said I had a severe mood disorder, not my family and friends who said all I needed to do was a little mind control and yoga, and she was a light in my darkness during the suicidal afternoons I wanted so badly to end it for good.
Last month, another angel appeared to me.
I had just returned from Johns Hopkins’s Pituitary Tumor Center disheartened because I expected the expert endocrinologist-neurosurgeon team to give me an alternative way I could treat my pituitary tumor, besides the medication that made me so dizzy and sick and neurosurgery. The unsympathetic doctor told me to stop whining, take the meds, and go home.
“But I can’t see straight when I take the meds ….”
“Eat more salt, drink some Gatorade… that’ll raise your blood pressure a little.”
“But …..”
“Next.”
I came home and, in an act of defiance, went off the tumor medication.
“Let the thing grow into the size of a grapefruit. See if I care,” I said to God.
I simply didn’t have the hope or the energy to continue fighting for my health.
That’s when Fr. Joe Girzone called. He has been another consistent angel in my life, curiously popping up when I most need a message of hope. I vented to him about my health stuff, and a few hours later he called again to tell me to check out his blog. He wrote:
When we seem to be in such dire straits that even our existence seems to hanging on a thread, I have learned that that is when God is at his best. He has not left us. He is trying to help us to become strong, even stronger than was necessary in previous situations. When we gain that strength he will gently without our even realizing it, draw us back from the brink and set us on solid ground for us to continue his work.
I cried when I read his words, printed them out, and have been carrying them around as a kind of security blanket. Fr. Joe didn’t cure me of the tumor, of course, but the ounce of hope that he provided was enough to motivate me to search for yet another endocrinologist-neurosurgeon team to discuss treatment possibilities.
I’ve also been on the giving side of hope.
Not that I’m an angel, but I know when I’m being prompted by the Holy Spirit to encourage a friend or relative or reader. There are plenty of mornings, when I’ve already scheduled all my Beyond Blue posts for the week, that I feel an urge out of nowhere to write on a specific topic–like last Monday’s post, on fear–only to read hours later a comment like this one from Beyond Blue reader JR: “Whew, that is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you.”
And for some reason, I can intuitively sense when my friend Michelle, who lost her husband a few months ago, needs encouragement and comfort. One afternoon, in particular, a month or so ago, I felt especially compelled to tell Michelle how much her husband Bob loved her and that he still loves her–because I just spoke to him (not really, but kind of)–and I shared with her some words of Henri Nouwen: “the more you have loved and have allowed yourself to suffer because of your love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and deeper” and “the pain of rejection, absence, and death can become fruitful.”
“You’re Bob’s angel,” she said to me that day. “The minute before I got your message I was asking God to tell Bob how much I love him, and that I needed to hear he still loved me too.”
I hope Lorna Byrne is right about an angel sitting with me right now. I could use the company and the protection. Her book is certainly an intriguing and inspiring read. But even if those kinds of angels don’t exist, I know that God will continue to send me spiritual guides when I most need one. And I’ll probably have another opportunity to be one, too.
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