Hara Estroff Marano penned a fascinating article about jealousy called “Jealousy: Love’s Destroyer” in the last issue of “Psychology Today.” Since this deadly sin is one of my most unbecoming qualities–or so I have been told by friends–I was anxious to find out, perhaps, why I am so jealousy and what I can do about it.
The article, which you can get to by clicking here, covers several aspects of jealousy that I’ve never thought about before: why we need it, what it looks like on brain-imagining scans, the difference between men’s jealousy and women’s, and how it can actually improve a relationship, and stimulate new growth in a person’s life.
Following are a couple of excerpts.
Jealousy has long been deemed the guardian of love. But more often it’s love’s downfall. We typically blame our partner for paying attention to another, but the real issue may be what jealousy teaches us about ourselves.
According to University of Texas psychologist David Buss, jealousy is a necessary emotion, a potential deterrent to infidelity that arises in both men and women when a threat materializes to intimate relationships. Boyfriend talks to beautiful woman at party and smiles admiringly at her; to girlfriend, a rival is born, a flesh-and-blood warning that what she thought was hers might now be endangered. Or wife suddenly embarks on series of brief out-of-town trips with co-head of her team. What is at stake is survival of our most valued relationships and thus the future of our children–which is to say, the species.
To read the Psychology Today article click here.
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