On Mindful Monday, my readers and I practice the art of pausing, TRYING to be still, or considering, ever so briefly, the big picture. We’re hoping this soul time will provide enough peace of mind to get us through the week!

On his blog, Joshua Mountain Ministries, my good friend Fr. Joe Girzone wrote the following post, which he called “Moods Pass, Don’t Let Them Frighten You”:

Some days vague moods pass across our consciousness, and bring in their wake a train of thoughts that cause doubts about important things in your life, doubts about work, is it worthwhile? Doubts about friendships, are they a distraction, will they end up hurting? Doubts about yourself, is there meaning to your existence? Doubts about so many things that you do, is it all without meaning?

I suppose these feelings, and the moods that follow in their trail are just a passing phenomenon brought on by a sleepless night or the darkness of a violently rainy day, or by chemical changes that affect our emotions at a level far beneath where we can understand or alter what is taking place. One thing is certain, that is never the time to make decisions that will affect your life or your work or your relationships. That would only lead to instability in your personality. Being steady and keeping on course in spite of frightening emotions is so important. Most of the time, the next day the sun will shine and dispel the fog of your morbid mood, and everything will seem bright again. And clinging to God in a time like that is like a ship with an anchor that reaches deep down to a stabilizing base and holds the ship safely in place.

Fr. Joe is right about so many things. Sometimes the best thing to do with an awkward emotion is simply to feel it and let it pass.

Of course that’s not how I like to deal with my feelings.

My first reaction to a pang of grief or an intense sadness is to do something to fix it. Immediately. I must tell the friend who triggered feelings of harsh rejection that I can’t be in touch with her anymore, or I have to fill the emptiness I’m experiencing with a worthwhile activity like sewing or scrapbooking (even though it pains me to say those two words), or I have to locate the exact source of my pain and get over it by lunch. I put my emotion on a schedule, and like a drill sergeant, yell at it until it does enough sit-ups and push-ups, until it’s strong enough to bench 100. I strive to get in front of my sadness before it takes me down too far.

I hate being so clingy and insecure, so I make up rules for myself that should make me more confident and less vulnerable, knowing full well that the self-love and self-acceptance needs to happen from the deepest part of my heart, not from adhering to a list of regulations. It needs to come to me from God, as Fr. Joe said, because only God is able to accept and love me the way I so crave.

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