On Mindful Monday, my readers and I practice the art of pausing, TRYING to be still, or considering, ever so briefly, the big picture. We’re hoping this soul time will provide enough peace of mind to get us through the week!

I did it.

20 days offline.

I missed a half-dozen parties because I never got the evite.

I was a tad behind on the school paperwork for the kids.

But I learned two important things. First, if you take away my job and all things work related, I still have a very full life. Which means … now that I’m back on the computer … that I need not take things to heart so much when I make a professional flop and that life will be just fine if I don’t increase my blog traffic this year.

And second, that setting aside some time to listen to and be with my F-E-E-L-I-N-G-S is absolutely crucial to staying sane and halfway centered.

I urge you to experiment.

Find out how much time you gain when you stop checking your emails every half-second. And wait for the uncomfortable feelings … of loneliness, fear, insecurity … to surface once you stop running from event A to event B. You’ll be surprised to find so many emotions that have been tucked inside, waiting for an opportunity to emerge when you slow down (which, of course, you don’t).

I know this sounds wrong, but being busy is actually much easier than having time to yourself. You don’t have to absorb so much. However, I’m finding that if I don’t quiet down every now and then to hear what my feelings have to say, that my inner life will eventually erupt in an ugly mess of depression and anxiety. So this little hiatus from the world isn’t just a nice thing to do if you can afford it. It’s essential to staying well.

In his book, “Wasting Time With God,” author Klaus Issler writes:

Our use of time with overcommitted calendars and busy routines all border on becoming genuine addictions–we cannot live without them. To gain any ground of mastery over time, we must take breaks from the routines of life to visit and vacation with God; there is no other cure. We must press the pause button of life now and then. 

We can use the phrase “wasting time with God” to justify these special occasions–especially if we are a fairly driven kind of person. This kind of “wasting” is of high value in God’s economy. Having no agenda is all right; in fact, it is preferred. Anything we can do that truly nurtures our soul and relationship with God is worth the effort and time. Some believers have become so accustomed to a busy pace of life that being alone for any length of time will initially involve discomfort and withdrawal pains.

Initially?

Um. I was uncomfortable every day of my offline experiment. But, having done this back in February and last August, I knew to expect some restlessness and anxiety. In fact, the day before I logged off, I printed out 40 blog posts of Elisha Goldstein’s “Mindfulness and Psychotherapy,” because I wanted to devote my time offline to getting better at mindfulness.

I reminded myself, when a painful feeling would begin to surface, that my thoughts aren’t facts, and they are not permanent. I told myself to simply acknowledge that the feelings were there and to respond with compassion. In his post, “Mindfulness, Mood, and Your Mental Health,” Dr. Goldstein writes:

Practicing mindfulness means to acknowledge the feelings that are there, not judge them as good or bad, but let them be. This may bring up healing feelings of self-compassion and calm as you realize how much you are suffering in the moment. When you notice self-judgments arise, you can label them as such, and gently bring your mind back to just being with the feelings that are there. There is a more gentle and compassionate nature to this approach than the usual cycle of self-judgment and critical mind that we’ve been used to for so long. This is not to say don’t ever have judgment or think about the past or future, but to do it on your watch rather than letting your mind run off with it and deepening your suffering.

I’m trying to do a better job of caring for my mind and soul these days. I know what the repercussions are if I don’t. So here’s hoping–with some practice at mindfulness–that I’ll be able to retain the wisdom gained during my break … even amid the noise and chaos of daily life.

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