Here’s an excerpt from the introduction of “Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes.”
Some people are born with jagged edges–restless and discontent with volatile moods and intense emotions–explained author and professor Kay Redfield Jamison in an essay broadcast on NPR’s “This I Believe” series. And others emerged from their mothers’ wombs with smooth lines and unbroken skin, grounded and peaceful. These Mr. Rogers-types find contentment in the smallest and simplest of things–a bowl of instant oatmeal, a green cardigan sweater, a goldfish swimming to the surface to eat crumbs–while the Michael Jacksons among us–the creative but combustible artists–sit down to a gourmet feast at a five-star restaurant, only to bolt to the restroom three minutes later in a panic attack as their food gets cold.
That would be me.
Hi. I’m Therese. I’m a manic depressive, alcoholic, and adult child of an alcoholic; a codependent, boundaries violator, and stage-four people pleaser; an information hoarder or clutter magnet, Internet abuser, and obsessive-compulsive or ritual-performing weirdo; a sugar addict, caffeine junkie, reformed binge smoker, and exercise fanatic; a hormonally-imbalanced female, PMS-prone time bomb, and sexually dysfunctional or neutered creature; a workaholic, HSP (highly-sensitive person), and, of course, I’m Catholic. Which could possibly explain some of the above.
To most eyes I look normal, and I can behave normally, at least for two-hour intervals. No one would guess my insides to be so raw, or suspect that I was twice committed to a psych ward, was suicidal for close to two years, and considered ECT, electroconvulsive therapy, after the first 22 medication combinations failed. Then again, the more human beings I interview Barbara-Walters-style, the more convinced I am that everyone struggles. There are just many layers, varieties, and degrees of strains inside the human psyche.
The difference between me and most of the civilized world is that they don’t publish their insecurities, irrational fears, personality flaws, and embarrassing moments online and in print for everyone, including their in-laws and neighbors, to read.
Why on earth would I do that?
It has something to do with the twelfth step of most twelve-step support groups I’ve attended, which is nearly all of them: to share my experience, strength (if you can call it that), and hope with others in order to secure some sanity for myself. Or, to use the language of existentialist Soren Kierkegaard, the twelfth step is about getting cozy with our true selves, becoming “transparent under God,” and vulnerable before others in order to form a bond of communion with those persons experiencing similar struggles.

* Click here to subscribe to Beyond Blue and click here to follow Therese on Twitter and click here to join Group Beyond Blue, a depression support group. Now stop clicking.