“Mary” said the teacher, “I’d like you to come up to the map and point out the Falklands.” Mary dutifully came forward and did so. Then the teacher said “Very good, now Alexander, can you tell us who discovered the Falklands?”
Alexander quickly responded: “Mary did sir!”

A father lamented the fact that all three of his children were attending college. He kept complaining he was getting poorer by degrees!

Father to Son: “Do you know what Abraham Lincoln was doing at your age?”
Son to Father: No, I dont, but I know he was President at your age.”

And in the kids say the darnedest things department I offer the following actual quotes:

“No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you are stuck with.”
Kirsten– aged 10

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
Demick age 8 says “You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.”

What are Dates for?
Lynette aged 8 says “Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.”

And lastly the Homer Simpson quote for today— “Don’t keep blaming yourself. Just do it once and then move on!”