The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining
the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained
how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces, and laid
it upon the altar. And then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill
four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four
times “Now, said the teacher, “can anyone in the class tell me why
the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?”
A little girl in the back of the room started
waving her hand, “I know! I know!” she said, “To make the gravy!!”
————
The Sunday School teacher was describing how
Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason
interrupted, “My Mummy looked back once, while she was driving,” he
announced triumphantly, “and she turned into a telephone pole!”
—————
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class
the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then, she asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the
roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?” A thoughtful
little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw up.”
———————
A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do
you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?” “No”, replied little David, ’cause he only had two worms!”
————————————————
A Sunday school teacher said to her children,
” We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times.
But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?”
One child blurted out, “Aces!”
——————————
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an
old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country “Is
there anything breakable in here?” asked the postal clerk. “Only the
Ten Commandments,” answered the lady
————————————–
BUMPER STICKER SEEN ON AMISH BUGGY
While driving in
west Pennsylvania
, a family caught up to an
Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor,
because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign….
“Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do
not step in exhaust.”
——————
Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young
daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, “Don’t be
scared, you’ll get your quilt.” Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed.
Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him
what that morning’s Sunday school lesson was about. He said “Be not
afraid, thy comforter is coming.”
—————————–
Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother
what he had learned in Sunday school. “Well, Mom, our teacher told us how
God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites
out of Egypt
.. When he got to the Red Sea , he had his
army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he
radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the
bridge and all the Israelites were saved.” “Now, Joey, is that
really what your teacher taught you?” his mother asked. “Well, no,
Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe
it!”
—————————————-
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young
class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave
the youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about the
task — but, he just couldn’t remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could
barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled
to recite Psalm 23 i
n front of the congregation, Ricky was so
nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said
proudly, “The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.”
AND DAT’S ALL I GOT TO SAY ‘BOUT DAT!
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