CHAPTER TWO: A DEEP CONVERSATION AND A DISTURBING DREAM

Miryam had sensed at once something was amiss when Jesus barely touched his supper. He was far too preoccupied and was not his normal jovial, joyful self. He seemed distant, reserved tonight as he said the Kaddesh prayer before he broke the bread as the head of the family. Could it have been the news about John that caused this change? She must ask him later. The evening had passed quietly, and Jesus had helped with putting the youngest two girls to bed, singing psalms with them until they fell asleep.

Afterwards, Miryam approached Jesus, holding a small lit hand lamp, and said “let us go out into the courtyard, so I can listen to what is on your heart.” Jesus sighed a sigh of relief. His mother had always been able to sense his moods, and he realized that this night, rather than in the morning the opportunity had arisen to have their talk. Walking away from the house the two sat down on the other side of the olive press.

Gathering his thoughts, and taking a deep breath, Jesus began, “Mother do you remember when I was twelve and we went up to the Passover, and you thought I was lost?”

“Son that would be very hard to forget–it is every mother’s nightmare, losing a child. I berated myself for not double checking to see if you were with the relatives when we began to head back to Netzerit, but the crowds were enormous and I trusted you.”

“But do you remember my words on that day?” queried Jesus with a look of concern on his face.

“You said something about needing to be in your Father’s house, which seemed odd at the time, since we were returning to your home in Netzerit. And I remember that Josef, of blessed memory, took it rather hard, almost as a rebuke.” With this Miryam paused, looked away for a moment, sighed, and then wiped her eyes with her sleeve.

“But mother I never intended it that way. I was just reminding you that there was a calling on my life, one that you yourself had told me about well before I was twelve.”

“I understand, but we were both distraught at the time, and had been frantically looking for you for several days, so you can understand why I said what I did.”

“Well of course,” replied Jesus, “of course, you were worried. But I have brought this up for a very different reason, not to remind you about the past. But let me ask you another question–do you remember what the synagogue elder used to say about our town from time to time, when he told its story?’

“You mean about how the town was named Branch-town, Netzerit, because the descendents of David, the shoot of Jesse, had settled here?”

“Exactly, mother, exactly. This may not be the city of David, or the place where he, or I, was born, but it is the place where the Davidids settled in the north. Mother, this is difficult to say but I feel it is time now, time for me to begin to live into that Davidic calling on my life. And what I believe Abba is saying to me now is that I must go and be with our cousin John, and see what G-d is doing there, perhaps even help him in some way. It has been almost two years now since Josef died, and I do hope James is old enough now that he can serve as the head of the family and the family business. I believe he can— would you not agree?”

There was silence for a moment, and again Miryam had to pause and wipe her eyes and then she said “I suppose you are right, and certainly you must do what you feel G-d is leading you to do, but you know it will be hard. You know tongues will wag in this little village. You know that there will be some shame attached and the accusation you have abandoned your family when it still needs you. Such talk is bound to come you know, and we will bear the brunt of it when you are away. We may not for a long while be able to get beyond the stigma.”

“Mother I promise I will come back, at least to visit. I promise I will show them I still care about my family and them. But you know as well that some of them do not think too highly of me anyway. You remember what I was taunted with when I was a boy–‘son of Miryam’, ‘son of Miryam’ they used to say, nagging away at me and throwing in my face that Josef was not my real father, trying to shame me.”

“How vividly do I remember that, and how Josef put a stop to it by going and talking to the fathers among our neighbors. And I am sure you remember as well what I told you about your coming into this world.”

“It would be hard to forget being told I had come from G-d through you, and I must confess I don’t think anyone I know had ever thought that that prophecy from Isaiah, ‘a young woman will conceive’ referred to some sort of miraculous conception of a royal son. What I also have certainly not forgotten mother is that you were full of faith and courage, and bore the slander against you for being pregnant with me while only engaged to Josef. There was all the talk of his not being the father, since he was a holy man full of self-control and had talked to his own family and the synagogue elder about resolving to divorce you quietly. Word gets out in a small town, even about private family matters.”

“Indeed, and now my son, the gossip will begin once more, when you leave. So what shall I say in reply to all the questions?”

“I have thought about that. Tell them the same thing you will tell my brothers and sisters. Tell them simply I have gone to check on my cousin John. That will satisfy them for a while, and of course it is true as well.”

“Only for a while will that answer silence the talk” said Miryam in a quiet voice full of apprehension.

The conversation had reached a lull, and Jesus could see how very tired, and indeed emotionally drained, his mother was. He stood up and went over to her, as she had arisen as well, realizing the conversation was over. Wrapping his arms around her, Jesus allowed his mother to cry quietly on his shoulder for a few minutes.

Whispering in her ear, Jesus said “What was it you told me when I was a child— that the best thing for any child of G-d to ever do was to do G-d’s will on earth, as in heaven?”

“Yes I suppose I did say that, but it doesn’t make this parting any easier really,” lamented Miryam, “but I will always be proud of you for following that calling on your life.”

“And mother, whatever happens to me from now on, I will not forget to honor you and pray for you and care for you, even to the day I die.” Giving her a kiss on the cheek he added “And now, we must both get some sleep.” Walking back into the house, Miryam blew out the flickering flame of the lamp which sat on the little table Jesus had once made and they both headed off to their corners of the house to lie down.

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Awaking with a start, Jesus looked out the window and could just see the slightest hint of dawn beginning to creep up the hill towards his house. The stars could still be barely seen overheard through the window in the wall to his left, but morning was inexorably on the way. But what had awakened him so suddenly?

“It was my dream” murmured Jesus to himself. He had seen a human like figure descending on a cloud and being given all power and authority by G-d to rule forever on the earth, after long aeons of beastly rulers and empires dominating the world and indeed even ruling G-d’s people. So vivid had the dream been, it was as though Daniel’s vision had been given once more, only this time to Jesus himself! But what most startled Jesus was that when he had looked closely at the face of the ‘bar enasha’, the Son of Man, he looked eerily familiar. Indeed, it looked just like the reflection Jesus had seen the previous morning when he looked into the bucket of water that his mother had drawn from the well earlier that same day!