I woke up at early o’clock this morning; my mind abuzz with all of the things I need to do, which include writing articles, being interviewed on a Jamaica based, Blog Talk Radio show at noon est, called Between The Lines with Corine La Font (even if I am not physically in that tropical paradise, at least my voice will be:) and then hopping off the call to pre-record an interview with Satyen and Suzanne Raja for my own show that will be aired in June and then shortly after that, speak with Natalie Ledwell from Mindmovies and Inspiration Show about a collaboration and then go into work at my job as an addictions counselor. The next stop is Planet Fitness (the Judgement Free Zone) for my ‘playout’. In the midst of this, I have finally gotten around to cleaning out a room in my house that has been a repository for my parents’ belongings that I moved back up from Florida after they passed, as well as 25 years of back copies of Visions Magazine (that my husband I am co-published from 1988-1998), stacks of other mags for which I have written, and still others that I set aside to use for workshops in which folks create vision boards/treasure maps. In addition, there are shelves filled with books, some I have read, others waiting patiently to be perused, folders filled with workshop ideas and handouts, CD’s and cassette tapes, weights…… and who knows what else? “It’s only been two years, Mom since you brought grandmom and grandpop’s stuff here,” wisecracked my 26 year old “undercover angel, sent to teach me patience,” as he told me when he was 14. Now that I have moved it out and is scattered in various rooms throughout the house, Adam is spackling and painting it so I can put it to good use as an office/meditation/haven. I am envisioning what it will look like, but in the meantime, it is in that in between stage that is unsettling.
I have come to realize how my inner control freak likes a sense of order. Quite a shock, you see, since there was a time when that would have been unthinkable. I had chafed against the advice offered over and over, starting in my early 30’s by my dear friend and mentor Yvonne Kaye, that “discipline is freedom, my dear.” It flew in the face of my free spirit sensibilities. Now I crave it. There are so many facets of my life, tendrils reaching out to touch new horizons, gathering them in so that I can explore and share them with the world, that there are times when I wonder how to manage them all, even as I daily request to go farther, do more, share more. That’s when G.O.D (12 step parlance for Higher Power)- Good Orderly Direction comes into play. My childhood perception of the Divine has changed so that it now feels like a Unifying Force. A Cosmic Office Manager that takes calls with opportunities to cross paths with kindred spirits, opens mail that contains books I need to read at the perfect time. A Celestial Agent who puts me in touch with folks for mutual benefit. I am willing to be in receptivity mode and not just do-it-get-it-done-check-it-off-the-list myself mode.
In order to remain sane and vertical, I do my best to make sure that at least one room remains neat and clean. Blessedly, there are two-the kitchen and bathroom. And then there’s my Jeep, happily vaccumed and organized. I visualize the day within the next week when I can claim the room, close the door and snuggle in comfortably, with soothing music, incense, candles, my beloved books, this laptop on a real desk instead of the dining room table or literally on my lap. Sighing in anticipation and maybe God/Goddess/All That Is is sighing with me~ ahhhh….
God and Dog by Wendy J. Francisco
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