I became an adoptive parent in 1992, when diminutive blond haired, green eyed Adam became my son. I like to say that my stretch marks are on my heart, not my hips. A high energy kiddo with his own ideas of how life should be, there were times when I questioned my ability to keep up with him. Those who have children known as Indigos who landed here tuned into other frequencies know what I’m talking about.

From the article: The Indigo Child and How To Recognize One

“Nancy Ann Tappe, a teacher and counselor, studied the human auric field,  otherwise known as their electromagnetic field. The field surrounds  every living thing. She even wrote a book about it called “Understanding Your Life Through Color.”

Through colors in the aura, she instituted a shockingly accurate and revealing  way to psychologically profile a person using her new auric color  method. The signs of an indigo child actually began even as early as in  the 1950s with a few people. What she noticed was that 80 percent of the children born after 1980 had a new deep blue colored auric  field. She called this new color “indigo”.

What are the behavioral patterns of Indigos?

1. They are born feeling and knowing they are special and should be revered.
2. An indigo knows they belong here as they are and expect you to realize it as well.
3. These children are more confident and have a higher sense of self-worth.
4. Absolute authority, the kind with no choices, negotiation, or input from them  does not sit well. The educational system is a good example.
5. Some of the rules we so carefully followed as children seem silly to them and they fight them.
6. Rigid ritualistic systems are considered archaic to an indigo child. They feel everything should be given creative thought.
7. They are insightful and often have a better idea of method then what has  been in place for years. This makes them seem like “system busters.”
8. Adults often view an indigo as anti-social unless they are with other  indigos. Often they feel lost and misunderstood, which causes them to go within.
9. The old control methods like, “Wait till your father gets home,” have no affect on these children.
10. The fulfillment of their personal needs is important to them, and they will let you know.”

Like most moms, I had my ideas of  who he ‘should’ become, since I experienced such loving parenting and wanted to offer the same style with him. Sometimes it worked, sometimes…..not so well. Tree hugging pacifist hippie meets warrior who struggled to understand each other’s language and culture. Both with good hearts and intentions, sometimes we danced around each other, sometimes warily tiptoed and sometimes stomped and stormed. For 6 of his 11 years (we adopted him at 5) there were three of us. Tumult and calm existed in our home, blending unpredictably. Then there were two of us weathering the storms of life together, when before Adam turned 12, in 1998, my husband Michael died of Hepatitis C.

In the interceding years, we survived his adolescence and early adulthood with the full range of human emotions and experiences. There were times when we resisted each other’s counsel mightily and still do. When he turned 14, he told me “Mom, I’m and undercover angel, sent to teach you patience.” I believed him. He’s still teaching and I’m still learning.

When I read the passage from William Martin- The Parents’ Tao Te Ching. I nodded knowingly since it reflected my own intentions. Most parents want their children to live extraordinarily, to succeed beyond everyone’s wildest expectations. Add to it that the parent is a Type A workaholic with personal aspirations that keep growing and there are sometimes blatant and sometimes unspoken desires for her son to discover the jet fuel that will rocket him skyward.

He will be turning 27 next week and my gift to him is his freedom from my expectations that he be anyone other than who he chooses to be and live, guided by his own inner compass, no longer mine. By doing so, I free myself as well.