There are times when it seems that life simply flows into place. Illusion or reality?  Who knows? Ease and grace or a product of our endeavors?  Could be a bit of each. This winter was particularly rough. Here in the Philadelphia area, it was colder, snowier and  icier than usual. Having grown up in the region, I don’t remember anything rivaling it. My own normally bright and warm attitude was majorly challenged. My electric bill was frighteningly high and then the heater stopped working on a low single digit day. Piles of blankets and space heaters kept us going. I felt uncharacteristically despondent some days; as if spinning my wheels in the ice and snow and having a difficult time digging myself out from under it all.

Spring teased a few times and now it has finally arrived. Blossoms of beauty abound. My frozen fears that I would always struggle financially, have melted as well. About a month ago, a friend lovingly confronted me on my beliefs that I need to constantly promote, tap dance, entertain, put out,  and otherwise seek attention with my work in order to succeed. He challenged me to seed plant and surrender, build my tribe of readers and students and see what happens. I also wrote an article about my family legacy around money.  Imagine my (not so) surprise when in short order, I received emails inviting me to write for more venues as a paid free-lancer, more clients began scheduling at my counseling jobs, more couples asked me to marry them and more teaching opportunities arrived.  Needless to say, I am greatly pleased about that!

Over the weekend, I attended the Metaphysical Universal Ministries Spring Expo; a staple in our community for decades. Going there, I know I will always see familiar faces and meet new friends; schmoozing and networking, hugging and catching up with folks I sometimes only run into there. Perusing the vendor booths is also a treat. I sometimes pick up small items as gifts or for my altar at home. This time, I was determined to bring home something symbolic, functional and lovely.  Within moments, it found me. A lovely rainbow hued, iridescent tunic hung on the back of a booth, calling to me with its siren song. As if in a trance, I walked over to it, ran my fingers over its silky surface.  Elen, who is the co-owner of the company, called Elen and Tuka, asked if I wanted to try it on. I inquired about the price and when she told me, the voice of lack and limitation kicked in and harangued me about being ‘responsible’. Good thing my friend Ondreah was there to keep me from reigning myself in too tightly. I also reminded myself that I had the money for it, I would get a lot of use from it, it matched with everything….blah, blah, blah. Ondreah chimed in, overshouting the practical rant, with the idea that I rarely treated myself and I should get it because I wanted it. Simple as that. And so I did. Rather than stuffing it into the sunshine yellow gift bag that Elen proffered, I kept it on and became the spokes model for her booth. As I walked through the expo hall, several women admired it and said that they had wanted to buy it themselves. I laughed at the idea that they were literally lusting after the piece of clothing.

Wearing it, I felt magically beautiful; kind of like donning Joseph’s coat of many colors.  After the expo, walking outside, the wind fluttering, I asked Ondreah to take a picture. She snapped this one and commented that I looked like The Flying Nun. I joked that it was ironic that a nice Jewish girl had actually fantasized about being the Sally Fields character Sister Bertrille who soared over Puerto Rico.  Flying high, taking in the view….lofting above my self imposed limitations….time for lift off!