This morning marks 3 months since I experienced the kind of pain that cracks you open and has you revealing the emotional viscera that had long lay dormant. Literally at this moment, I was captured by the symptoms of a heart attack- searing heart burn pain, jaw tightness and wringing wet sweats. I say this, not to re-live it, but to celebrate that according to one of my health care professionals, I beat the 50/50 odds that had me surviving AND to remind others to pay attention to symptoms and offer good self care. Once upon a time, I thought it was just a term that I tossed out to my clients and those who attended my workshops and presentations; particularly those in the helping professions. For me, it meant getting by as best I could so that I could keep up with my crazy-busy schedule and meet my responsibilities. Eating on the run, sleeping when I could squeeze it in, fitting  ‘playouts’ at the gym 3-5 times a week. Now it means eating consciously, sleeping 7 or more hours a night, cardiac rehab (where I actually sweat more than ever I did at the gym:), walking daily, working from home with ‘normal people hours’, actually napping when I need to.

I had an appointment at our local Health and Wellness Center this morning, for another test and smiled when I realized how easily I walked from my car to the front door, when I could barely take a few steps without feeling winded at my initial cardiologist appointment and needed to take the elevator to the second floor. Today, I moved like a woman on a mission and actually charged up the steps, not having to stop and catch my breath.  I attribute my ability to speed up, with the choice to slow down. Not as much of a paradox as you might imagine.

In taking time to take time, I have added more of it to my existence. Although I don’t fear death, I still prefer to live a bit longer. More adventures to have. More hearts to open. More souls with whom to dance.

Happy Cardia-versary to me!

So glad that I’m Alive  (Thanks, Michael Franti for the soundscape)