The calendar has all kinds of quirky holidays and the block that is set aside for the second Tuesday in October is National Face Your Fears Day. This year, it occurs on October 14th.  Oh, that’s today!  What if we really could do just that? What if we could look at what is an imposter, cleverly disguised as truth, stare it down and glare it down, so that it no longer has power over us to make us do its bidding?

Every day, I am called on to peel back the covers, pull away the curtain and reveal the cowering little critter that tries to act all ferocious at times, making me think that it has my best interests at heart, when it reality, it just wants to be self preservative.  My fears may look different from yours and they are not your typical dread of public speaking (I love it), being in crowds, unless they are rowdy or aggressive, mice (I actually have a sweet little house mouse that has been showing up occasionally), itsy bitsy spiders which I usher out, bees whose stings I am allergic to and with whom I make agreements that we won’t harm each other and we will get along fine, flying (not too fond of turbulence) and although I don’t want to bring it on, I don’t fear death. Since surviving a heart attack in June, that one went the way of all winds.

Instead, I fear incapacity, being controlled and told what to do. I fear being limited in any way. I fear the unpredictability of partners who morph from peaceful to overpowering. I fear being thought of as boundary crossing, or manipulative. I fear getting lost in someone else’s needs to the exclusion of my own; recovering co-dependent that I had learned to be. Up until recently, I have feared being unable to support myself. I fear anger at times; mine and that of others. I fear being considered incompetent or unreliable. I fear losing my marbles and memory.

As I face these fierce fears, they lose their hold on me and I bravely step up and do what needs to be done each day. I cry every time I hear this song, so I invite you to cry along with me.  If I Were Brave by Jana Stanfield