What do you look for in a friendship?  I imagine that most people enjoy spending time with someone they consider a kindred spirit, of like mind and with a sense of compatibility. Chances are, they want someone who is fun-loving, responsive to their needs, who cares about them and respects them. They are inclined to be with someone who speaks to them kindly and supportively. They would likely want to be able to communicate openly and with a sense of trust that their words would be heard with an open mind and, if sensitive, be kept confidential. They might also want to have a friend who neither talks behind their back or symbolically stabs it.

So here’s the $64,000 question …. are you the kind of person who you would want to befriend?  It is easy to be this kind of person in the life of another, but a wee bit more challenging to do so for yourself. Do you believe you are worth that type of self compassion, play, trust, positive self talk, and open hearted connection?  If not, what have you allowed to get in the way?

I can tell you that what had stopped me in my tracks in the past was the feeling of unworthiness.  Not any more. I deserve the type of love I shower on others and so, my dear, do you. Imagine if you spoke to someone you wanted to stick around, the way you speak to yourself at times. Would that person; if they were self respecting, want to be in your presence, or would they high tail it out of there?

Take a few moments now to consider ways of being kinder to yourself, more patient and understanding. Take yourself on play dates as you would with a friend; to the movies or a walk in a park. Write yourself supportive messages on your bathroom mirror or with magnetic letters on your fridge. Pick up a small token somewhere as a gift yourself; whether it is a bouquet of flowers, or your favorite treat. Be your own cheerleader. Keep your word to yourself, so that you can be trusted.  That’s what being in integrity is about. Let go of toxic people and/or circumstances.

You deserve a healthy physical and emotional environment and the lifetime friendship with the man or woman in the mirror.