As it always does, the Universe brings me messages when I most need them and least want them. I imagine it is so for you as well. Yesterday I was writing an article for my full time job with the title Are Therapists Ever Off Duty?  In it, I expressed the dilemma that counselors have in being off the clock. The expectation is that they have the answers for people’s issues and the resources to meet their needs at all hours, day or night. It is especially tricky if the one requesting is a loved one in whom we have a deeply vested interest. The additional challenge is the sometimes complicated dynamics in various relationships between the two parties. That was my experience within moments of completing the article and sending it off to my editor.

Someone close to me is struggling with the way their life is unfolding. This is a long standing issue and one that I have attempted to assist with for years. They see life as one step forward and two steps back. Fears of things never getting better, despite progress made. When something does unfold in a positive direction, conscious or unconscious sabotage sometimes kicks in.  I’m no saint and have certainly contributed to some of the mess in the relationship AND I can only live out my part and not take on the other person’s choices and emotions that are wound around it. The push-pull expectation is that I NOT play therapist AND having them want me to tap into my well of knowledge and experience and solve the dilemmas and then having them feel abandoned when I set boundaries. This challenges me mightily.

One thing I recalled this morning as I contemplate this, is something I knew but was reinforced in a training I took a few months ago on trauma and PTSD. Given people’s histories and experiences, it would be expected that they would hold certain beliefs and take certain actions in response to current life events.

So, where does a spiritually oriented therapist with a strong desire and investment in this person’s wellbeing turn in order to sleep last night and to be of support and yet, not enable, or practice ‘savior behavior,’ thinking I have all the answers?  She turned it over and asked for all manner of celestial support from the God of her understanding, angels and ancestors who are all rooting for this person. I just kept repeating that I see this person healed, whole and healthy and that they will see their way clear to a positive outcome.  I can only surrender outcome and trust that the Highest Good will unfold.